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Where Cynicism Is Likely Wise

Submitted by brittle light on Sat, 2018-10-27 08:11

veiled in a mystical light,
(hardness hidden away)
gurus, Guevaristas
lovers and priests
cast first, an eloquent
dispelling of doubt.

bewilderment
slowly melts
under wishful images of hope,
gentleness, and joy.

then, suddenly
the veil drops.
sharp, stinging admonitions;
spikes of "no, no, no",
like fangs of a viper,
stab at the so-called
"apparition" of one's own senses.

inner voices snarling and growling.

"you'll always be wrong,
until I make you right."

this, their only "Hidden Truth".

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Eumolpus

Sat, 2018-11-03 17:36

Eumolpus's picture

As in "there's something going on here that you just don't understand, do you Mr Jones" I'm trying to wrap my head around it.. spiritual political lover and divinity cast doubt...about what specifically, what connects them.. or is it just doubt in general...
and from there I can't put together the flow of ideas. I think maybe its the lovers mixed with those others

I'm thinking that everybody is telling you what to think which is their only truth. It's all a big ego trip. But then I say to myself, is it really hidden? Is it truth?

You know what you want to say, I can sense that there is a hidden truth to the poem.
I just think I need just a few more clues in the poem...

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

brittle light

Sat, 2018-11-03 20:39

brittle light's picture

I , as most others, don't like explaining a poem.
But for you, I want to try.

these almost archetypal figures all have something quite mysterious, and alluring, to sell.
So, first comes the sales pitch, trying to defend their veracity (dispelling of doubt) to someone who thinks it might be too good to be true...even lovers do this

when it seems the "mark" has accepted their proposed ideas, and gets deeper and deeper into the relationship, the "come on" turns from sweet, to heavy indoctrination,
using every trick in the book to keep the "mark" hooked, including indicting his natural senses.
There is no mysterious truth behind any of this. They are just looking for the payoff...a fresh lifelong convert.
That is their only mysterious "hidden truth"
they are all, including most lovers, snake oil salesmen

That's it. I don't expect you will agree with my assessment of these types of characters (especially the gurus and lovers) but I hope you have a better understanding of the piece, not that I am defending it's vagueness or confusing nature

I needed feedback on this more than most other pieces
I glad it was from you

If you so desire, let me know your response... is it salvageable, and how so

thanks Mark

Al

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