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When Summer Draws Near

When summer draws near,
the garden boasts of young ferns;
ardent wrens appear.

Deep within the shade
a Carolina Wren yearns
to nest unafraid.

Busy, she dances
while singing her merry song -
flitters and prances

as each chosen twig
ushers her dear nest along,
lined with stem and sprig.

Most loyal and bold,
both fern and courageous wren
witness life unfold

as brave fledglings cry
from between each blade, and then
take to the blue sky

like magic, like art,
as if nature evolved wings
from within the heart.

The fern becomes dry,
yet, the true-hearted wren sings
beneath the blue sky.

Soon trees become gold,
the garden gives earth a rest,
the fern leaves all fold,

wither, die, and then
there remains one empty nest -
less one faithful wren.

***

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I recently read the poem "A Pasture Poem" by Richard Wilbur. It had the meter and syllable count of a Haiku, yet the first lines and third lines rhymed. I can't seem to find the form / style, but thought I'd give it a go. I took it just a step further and tried to rhyme the second line of a verse with the second line of the following verse. (Clear as mud?) I sure would appreciate knowing more about this style. Thank you! L
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Curious to read your thoughts. Be well!
L

Hello, Jerry,
Thank you for returning and helping with this poetry form. I'll look into the rhyming tercet form. I actually enjoyed this quite a bit!
Thanks, again,
L

author comment

form, but rather enjoyable. I have no idea what to call it, but I may have to try it for myself. No crits.~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Curiouser and curiouser. :) I look forward to reading yours!
Thank you!
L

author comment

Well you have composed a set of ten tercets with a count of 5,7,5, as you know. You have used a rhyming pattern of
a,b,a,   c,b,c,   d,e,d,   g,e,g,   &c.
If all three lines rhymed (a,a,a) that would form a triplet.

If you would like to maintain the second line rhyming throughout the piece you will do well to study the villanelle.  Utilising a spare title which I have lying around I will sing to you a villanelle.

When Nighttime Sings A Villanelle

I sing the gentle villanelle,
A villanesque so lightly said,
Howbeit the nighttide casts her spell.

And now the rune I know so well
Remains, remembered, in my head;
I sing the gentle villanelle.

As Evening leaves and shadows dwell
The golden brightness all but fled,
Howbeit the nighttide casts her spell.

The flowing verse, her tale to tell,
Inhibitions drift and shed,
I sing the gentle villanelle.

And owls resound about the fell,
The day replaced with night's instead,
Howbeit the nighttide casts her spell.

Yet I, contented, in my shell
Warmly, snuggled and safe a-bed;
I sing the gentle villanelle
Howbeit the nighttide casts her spell.

 

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

Lovely, gentle villanelle. I know this is one of your favorite forms. When I read "The Pasture Poem" by Richard Wilbur, I couldn't place what poetry form he used - I saw the 5,7,5 and considered Haiku, especially since the poem centered around nature. But something else struck me and seemed familiar with the rhyme pattern. I wrote a villanelle about 4 months ago after reading several here on Neopoet, including a few of your wonderful pieces. Villanelle! Of course! I completely forgot about it. Thank you for the reminder about this challenging, but very fun poetry structure.
L

author comment

let poems in free verse
spring
this is bitter winter
lav
let's shorten our gab

Gotcha! Thank you so much for dropping by.
L

author comment
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