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When I Go......(the latest version read first)

When in the other world I, at last, bide
you will not ever, ever, really know
nor will you say that you at all denied
that it was now my turn and time to go.

As I fling kisses so many misses
you would not come here ever for to see
how many came to savor my kisses
coz at no time, you've been with me.

I still live, in my world, of hope
An intent with much, abundance
That you might dare with me to cope
Hopefully without reluctance.

Be as it may, my lovely dear
Kissy me without any fear.

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OLDER VERSION BELOW

When in the other world I, at last, bide
you will not ever, ever, really know
nor will you say that you at all denied
that it was now my turn and time to go.

As I fling kisses so many misses
you would not come here ever for to see
how many came to savor my kisses
because you have, at no time, been with me.

Yet I still live, in my own world, of hope
A delightful intent and much, in abundance
That you might still dare with me to cope
And you will try to make up, without reluctance.

Be as it may, my only, onetime lovely dear
Develop a permanent relationship, without fear.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Another life's fourth sonnet Just a try folks
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

that it is better with: Or without reluctance. Nice work~ Geez.
.

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Hi, Lovedly,
Enjoyed the entire poem, but what an outstanding, wonderful last stanza!
Thank you!
L

and
I call myself Outstanding

Lol
thanks to you and Gee
thanks you two
keep my mind alive
I rarely breathe

author comment

PASS THE SONNET
WILL KINDLY YOU

author comment

of the loud applause
so is stan's
to Neos I bow.
shall tweek as and when
in a fresher sonnet
I wish Judy of Hudson
could read it in heaven

author comment

finally she gave up
a dull headed lovedly
can't even count syllables
what the fx a sonnet create will he

hope she now sheds no tears
next sonnet will be hers
hopefully she does not cry foe me
did you compose it stupidly

author comment

Your head didn't explode writing a rhyme lol.

Another one in the pipe line

author comment

the top one I revised it
as directed by you
now I am BULB LIKE fused
top is new below
xxxxxx is old
the next one is in my pipeline
still at home lol Alan

will post after u pat my back
ahhhhhhhhhhha gotcchaaachaaa

author comment
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