Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

What If The Rabbit Is Ugly?...

He was talking to his girl on the phone as he got into my taxi.
I asked him where he was going and when he said where it was.
I pulled away from the curb and he resumed his kissy-face over the phone.
I heard bits of the conversation, but didn't pay much attention, as usual.
He talked with her all the way over and when we got there; he reached for his money
and said: “Oh, shit! I left my money home! We have to go back!”
I radioed dispatch; and as we started back; I heard him say: “Why, do you want a rabbit?
You don't do anything with them, they just sit in their cage and you feed them and clean the cage.
Well, yeah, you can hold them.”Just then we pulled up to his house and he got out and ran inside to get his money. He came back shortly and was still talking to his girl. I started back to where he was going and I heard him say:” There's only two, one male and one female?” By then, we were out in traffic and I wasn't paying much attention, until I heard him say: “So, what do they look like? I like the ones with white fur and red eyes!” What do you mean you haven't seen them?” What if they're ugly?”
“ I said; What if the rabbits are ugly?” My thoughts were kind of stuck between watching the traffic and the idea of an ugly rabbit. “ The male is brown and the female black and white? Which one do you think you are going to get?” He talked with his girl until we were almost at his destination and I didn't pay much attention to the rest of their conversation; being lost in thought about ugly rabbits. When we arrived, I gave him the price of the fare and as he paid me, I told him that I was going to write a short story for Neopoet and that if he wanted to look and see how it came out, he should come to the site. So... If you see this, this is what I remember of the trip and I may have inadvertently changed the color of the rabbits or misconstrued some of the facts
or the order in which things occurred, but essentially, that is the story! I hope that you liked seeing it here and will come back and maybe even become a member of Neopoet! Thanks for the idea for the story and I hope the rabbit thing, works out! ~ Geezer.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
My short story. A piece of my day in the taxi.
Editing stage: 

Comments

It is good that you air a short story, it has long been a thought of mine that we should have a separate place for short stories, but that has gone by the board a while back.
A fun write of ugly bunnies most people only see the white bit at the back lol.
No murder in this one next I suppose you will write of a gathering of crows lol,
Great to see another side of you take care,
Yours Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

writing this one and hope that the guy I wrote this about, reads it and enjoys it as much as I did writing it. I have been thinking of reviving the chats and thought maybe we could do something like writing a short story and finding out what motivated the person to write the story and what might have made it more interesting. I feel that it might not be too much bother to devote a couple of hours a month to a chat concerning such ideas. No pressure, if you show, O.K. if not, your loss! Especially, if we are discussing your story. I will announce a date and hour for the first one and we will take it from there. ~ Gee.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I look forward to seeing your chat times I will adjust my sleep time if only a couple of times,
Around Minus five hours for me to be at the same time as yours, will sort it out when you start,
Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

in a small town where I came from...two local girls were fighting
"ur baby is uglier then my baby!" my friend who was from classical
grooming class and good genes was appalled but found the humor
in it....the two women were still friends..it was a small village and
survival is tantamount to each other regardless of the spatz..

I liked this story...the concern...and Ugly bunnies!
everyone loves beauty perceived
and the fellow in conversation forgetting his coin...
but going with it with his woman!

a great short story! we live in stories
they are around us everyday...at the mall
in the food banks where everyone waits
and soup kitchen in mid day..
etc...

a good story Geezer!

thank U!

Life is indeed a series of stories, some shorter or longer than others. They can be funny, mysterious, sad, etc... Our interaction with the rest of the world is individual and no one can take another person's part. No matter how we play the role, it is uniquely ours and no one else will play it the same way! Not to say; that we aren't team players, because you must have a cast who works together, be it as heroes or victims or the mass. We all matter. Thanks for the read and comment, ~ Gee.
P.S. Watch for the day and time for launching a new chat!

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.