Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Wendigo Bush

The strawberry haired Wendigo blows in excretion. Breathing vegetables, spoonfed, wear toupees done in heatstroke.

Blushing in the thermal doorway. Teeth exposed in tinfoil increments out of The Reader's (hypocrite, brother) in blue opal doorbells. Halls of trance mirrrors, borders, nooks and crannies with hatchetheads all float in gravitational

Doll cinderblock eyes.

The strawberry reed breathes, and smiling sugar cubed hieroglyphs slowly exposed in numbers of cuneiform hexes spiling in a Chinese flypaper flask.

Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
There are syntactical line breaks. Syntactical, it is a prose poem.
Editing stage: 

Comments

that anyone ever introduced me to was The Colonel by Carolyn Forche. I really enjoyed it and I enjoy prose poetry overall. I am fascinated by how I can't put my finger on the line between what makes it poetry and what makes it prose.

I also love folklore and the Wendigo. The TV show Supernatural, the TV show Hannibal, and the video game Until Dawn had interesting takes on the Wendigo and all of them are coming to mind as I read the poem. None of those interpretations of the creatures fit what I think of when I think of strawberry hair, but the juxtaposition is definitely fun in a dark way, and new.

I'm afraid I can't give any suggestions for this one. It's out of my league and over my head. All I can say definitively is that I like it. Something creepy and endearing about it all at once and that's what I like.

Kelsey

Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment.

To see our learning resources, click the "Curated Resources" link under the Resources tab in the top menu bar.

www.kelsey-burroughs.weebly.com

Carolyn is a very kind woman. Someday she will get all her credit and they will have a day of appreciation for her at Brandeis or whatever. Thank you!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.