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Well It's Better Than Being A Politician ( in limerick )
There once was a girl from Gorslas,
whose brain cells where shrivelled and sparse.
She was a bit crabby
and her buttocks were flabby
cos she constantly sat on her … Bottom.
Her job was to solder, they said,
which made her feel rancid and dead.
Her chin had grown stubble
and her back was bent double,
which made her near go off her head.
She worked with her hubby; so say,
breathing in fumes every day.
their bones anatomic
looked swollen bubonic
and their youth was soon whittled away.
Still the old codgers are slaving;
though they are worn out and caving,
With their cortex’s battered
and their grey matter shattered
and their tickers both misbehaving!
Due to their rotting attrition,
they have little, or no ambition.
But still they are happy,
with their work, that is crappy;
well.. It was that or a politician….Urgh!
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Last few words:
Written three months ago!
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Comments
Bonitaj
Fri, 2013-10-18 14:44
Is it "Despite" or "Due to"?
i.e. last verse!! Clever write here young lady! Don't know how you managed to get such a lengthy, witty story line in - in the form of a limerick!
Enchanting! ;)
Regards
Bonitaj
mand
Fri, 2013-10-18 14:56
Ha ha
"Due to" definitely! ha ha Will change.
Thanks Bonitaj Mucha ppreciated.
LOve Mand xxx
author commentGeezer
Fri, 2013-10-18 19:29
I found this...
one to be funny, and well rhymed and the rhythm was great! Do I detect a bit of knowledge about welding and it's effects here? My father was a welder for twenty-six years and I think you know something about the effects it has on one who welds that long. Great little story and limerick at any rate! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
mand
Sun, 2013-10-20 07:51
Hi Geezer
Spot on ( no pun intended ) lol
Yes - my husband and I have been soldering for 40ish years. We work from home now! so we can open the windows / back door to let the fumes out. We don't use leaded solder anymore - it's against the law. ( except for items made for the military or medical ). It can still get very smoggy though if we don't have the back door open.
Does your dad suffer with a bad chest? ( I think it effects our mood ).
Glad you liked this little ditty! Kind of you to say so.
Keep safe
Love Mand xxxxx
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2013-10-18 22:46
Hi
And all this time I thought politicians' stupidity was inherited.....now I learn it's due to their environment lol. But I expect if I lived in D.C. I'd soon become even dumber than I am.........................stan PS D.C. stands for Don't Care
mand
Sun, 2013-10-20 07:57
Hi Stan - The man
He he! You dumb! NEVER!. I bet a politician couldn't write poetry like you. D.C stands for don't care! ha ha
I'll point that out to my beloved - who wants to visit. At least we'll be home from home. Ha ha
See you soon.
LOve Mand xxx
author commentRoscoe Lane
Sat, 2013-10-19 01:24
Excellently put,
Excellently put, very witty but this is very close to how some people have to live. Love Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
mand
Sun, 2013-10-20 08:05
Hi Roscoe
Including me and hubby. Lol - We've slowed down a bit now! Most of the soldering work goes to China and Indian now. We manage a living by hand soldering for a company we have worked for, for many years.
( Does tend to be a famine or a feast sort of situation though ). For some reason the work seems to slow down in or around February - ish.
So this poem is about me and my husband. In fact while I'm working I have my computer on my desk - then if I get any thoughts I just type them down - how lucky am I. He he
Nice of you to read and comment - Thank you.
LOve Mand xxxxx
author commentRula
Sat, 2013-10-19 04:44
Did you know Mandy
that limericks usually are good examples of humor anapestic meter du du Dum, and with the rhyme of AAbbA
You did the second part quite well re being funny and rhyming really well, yet needed some work on the anapestic meter :)
You can do it.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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mand
Sun, 2013-10-20 08:07
Hellooo there!
Will be attempting anapestic meter - especially after your encouraging comment!
Thanks Rula - Because you believe in me - I believe in me -- though not quite as much as you believe in me. Lol
Hope to see you soon.
Love Mand xxxx
author commentvandiemenspeak
Sun, 2013-11-10 07:43
And, better a poet than a pollie!
We call them pollies down under, but they're exactly the same the world over! I liked it, the first verse was very funny by the way. I think you can meander away from the form a little bit, it doesn't matter too much. The overall sense was good, the timing, the comedy,a sense of the hard 'yakka' on the job, and the time spent/toll on your health (my old man was a welder in the power stations, and the fumes in the pipework wrecked his health). I think some of our best ideas come in the midst of 'menial' work. At least you have a spirited imagination Mand, not like those withering bloody politicians. And you make and honest living - keep 'soldering' - and writing on! Well done.
Take care,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
mand
Wed, 2013-11-13 08:55
Hi Chris
Glad you liked it! Sorry to hear about your dad! My father in law suffered with his health cos he worked most of his life shuffling coal for a Gas company - It's no easy thing seeing them suffer.
Nice of you to take the time to read and comment - I much appreciate it.
Take care
Love Mand xxxxx
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