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WEED OF GOD

Sizzling rizla,
Clicking lighters,
Bars of golden flames in the night.

Sudden blackout,
Lighters dropping,
Hosts of burning eyes in the dark.

A fragrant breeze,
A cleansing tide,
Bubbles of smokes, thickened darkness.

Eyes closing,
Minds open,
Heads clearing,
Bats flapping,
Owls hooting,
Men smoking;

The Weed of God.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A write along the lines of Esker, just needs a little tightening here and there, but enjoyed the read.
Could you possibly have a go at commenting on the odd poem in the un published section, I think that the works of Esker would be a good place for your style, that Steve has now left the Earth plain to journey on, it will be lovely to see what others think of his works, we are trying to sort all of his works into one place for those that he left behind,
Thanks for all you do,
Yours Ian

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Dramatic last line (though reading this I suspect you could come up with a far less generic end line... dare I challenge you?) Great job.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

just the way it is! Nothing like a good smoke to help communicate with the gods! ~ Geezer.
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