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We will meet again ..What do you say?

Submitted by loved on Fri, 2012-04-13 15:07

at some corner of eternity
and
then as two petals of roses
in pages of books
we shall meet
to again fall apart
like autumn leaves
and
fly away towards
another trinity

that's why they say
time alone lives
we all perish

thank you friend,
for ripening my colloquial mind
excuse me for words mistakenly used,
it’s my creativity
my extempore muse...

I don’t visualize anyone,
but the hearts inner
and
compose...

Then after a while
in the library of time
I place,
all that
un-knowningly
my mind does trace...

A MODIFIED VERSION HERE...

We Will Meet Again
At some corner of eternity
as two petals of roses
in pages of books
We shall meet
to again
fall apart

Like the autumn leaves
shall fly away towards
another trinity
That’s why they say
time alone lives
we all perish

Thank you friend,
for ripening my colloquial mind
Excuse me for words mistakenly used,
my creativity likes
my extempore muse

I don’t visualize anyone,
but the hearts inner
to compose
After a while
in the library of time
I place
all that un-knowingly
my mind does trace

DO ENJOY TWO VERSIONS ...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

loved

Sat, 2012-04-14 13:08

loved's picture

this
Yet COMMITTED the crime ,
by scanning it,
but no comments posted,
we all know who that one could be..
blasphemy .
blogs are to serve
only as cold storage.

loved

author comment

Kailashana2

Sat, 2012-04-14 13:14

Why do I love this poem? Because it spoke to me.

~Anna

loved

Sat, 2012-04-14 13:31

loved's picture

do you know
somewhere in the
FAR EAST
may be in India
There is a
KAILASH PARBAT
Kailash mountain ..
have you any origins there in??
I wonder
how you pen name so is ...

loved

author comment

judyanne

Sat, 2012-04-14 14:17

judyanne's picture
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i love this as it also spoke to me
an awesome write loved
hugs judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

loved

Sat, 2012-04-14 14:30

loved's picture

have I the ability to pen such words
hope Jess is eaves dropping
ere he does curse

But i wish to thank you
for reading,
nay hearing
my outspoken verse...
free one

loved

author comment

Nordic cloud

Sun, 2012-04-15 06:53

Nordic cloud's picture

A wonderful poem.
Nordic cloud.

Could have left out disposal of anything,
that's what gets at us,
self pity.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

loved

Tue, 2012-04-17 11:20

loved's picture

ma'am
the wallowing has been dispensed with
as so rightly advised

loved

author comment

Nordic cloud

Tue, 2012-04-17 14:40

Nordic cloud's picture

The second one I like,
well done.

and now I cannot see it,
but it is lovely.

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

loved

Tue, 2012-04-17 15:45

loved's picture

invested so much of your valueable time
thanks ma'am

loved

author comment

loved

Sun, 2012-04-15 08:02

loved's picture

coming from you
My regards Ma'am...
shall try and amend
as suggested
thanks again

loved

author comment

Kailashana2

Sun, 2012-04-15 08:13

Dear Loved were that every human being knew that they are loved. The universe itself loved us into being. What do we have to do to prove it to ourselves? And so the world is the way it is, and so we are the way we are/are not.

Mt. Kailash is a holy mountain. In this sense we are all making a pilgrimage up and down our own mountain of life.
It is a sacred journey for many.

http://sacredsites.com/asia/tibet/mt_kailash.html

Dalton

Sun, 2012-04-15 12:06

In the library of time... a beautiful and effective phrase indeed. A lovely piece indeed.

ThanX for sharing

John

loved

Sun, 2012-04-15 12:54

loved's picture

for passing by
and
having lit the lonely path
towards eternity sought
by all who on Earth
have from heaven
have been brought...

loved

author comment

magics02

Sun, 2012-04-15 12:16

Hello there. I took my own liberty and touched it up but YOU DO NOT have to change it. I just felt like working it. It is very nice and yes it speaks to the inner.

We Will Meet Again

At some corner of eternity
as two petals of roses
in pages of books
We shall meet
to again
fall apart

Like the autumn leaves
shall fly away towards
another trinity
That’s why they say
time alone lives
we all perish

Thank you friend,
for ripening my colloquial mind
Excuse me for words mistakenly used,
my creativity likes
my extempore muse

I don’t visualize anyone,
but the hearts inner
to compose
After a while
in the library of time
I place all that
un-knowingly
my mind does trace

Loved - please do not think you have to change any of your poem to my suggests. I just tightened it up a bit.

Ms Mona

loved

Sun, 2012-04-15 21:00

loved's picture

it has a distinct texture
consequent to an Inspiration
which is also a well founded cause
for creation
and
poetic rendition
some may have to accept (it)
albeit with reluctance...

loved

author comment

magics02

Sun, 2012-04-15 21:36

I only tried this to try and wean out some of the filler words. Say less with the same meanings. Filler words are all the repetions of the and's and the's.

It makes it too easy. Less is always better in some poems, I suppose. It might not work for everyone you know?

Thank you for commenting back. Keep up the good work. You have gotten better I see. That is a good thing.

Mona

loved

Sun, 2012-04-15 22:51

loved's picture

we are always on the path of progress
we are always on the learners curve ,
its discerning eyes we need most ...like yours
eons have me this taught
no one is perfect none at all..

loved

author comment

loved

Fri, 2012-08-31 12:48

loved's picture

Thanks for the input
for my gems collection

loved

author comment

lovedly

Sat, 2021-03-27 21:51

lovedly's picture

LOVED THEN BY so many
You will

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