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WE ARE ON A JOURNEY

We had taken infantile steps
It was life's demands that we walk
Like athletes on this track, many had run
But the further they went the farther the distance.

Time stretches, life seems never to end
We are energy upon energy that finds itself in form
For all eternity, we are immortal
And our journey will never end.

There are only two turns in life
Left or right, and your left is not right.
Adiagha was right to have left a violent relationship
Men are like sheep, they follow the slave ship.

In every lie, there is a truth, every man to his philosophy,
But in every mind, there is a God.
Hence, we are all but worshippers
For Freedom is another form of Slavery.

In the belly of the road, there are ghosts
In the belly of the trees, there are faeries
In the belly of the river, there are mermaids
In the belly of the forests, there are unicorns.

We are all on a journey,
All like passing trees when a car spirals down a boulevard
Not that we are dead when we die
We are only left behind, or gone from a few memories.

A pauper lives comfortably in his dream
But if men were wise why do they chase money
Instead of observing immortality?
Alas, you are a season that will pass!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

were ever spoken. "In every mind there is a god." We all have our own gods; be they literal, philosophical or our own image.
The ones that scare me the most are the ones we make of ourselves; which I think you are trying to tell us. Your title is okay, it tells us what to expect. Your language use gets better all the time and this work flows well from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
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