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WASTED

All we believed was that our brothers came,
We never really knew what it was like
when the Reaper flash an unfriendly grin.
We weren't carefree, we were just generous,
Besides, after the war they pledged One Nigeria.

Since we were all farmers we gave them land
To mount their tents and fields their herds could graze,
Which would later be our unbecoming.
Old habits abound, as our people say,
No matter where the raven goes the darkness follows.

And the darkness lingered; a lone dusk cloud
That eventually gathered its brothers to rain blood.
It rained in the night, but it rained fire,
Red shooting stars that flew like fireflies.

The rifle's breath of Fulani Herds Men,
Stole destinies of promising children.
The few survivors must return to bury
The remains of their wives, old men and women.

But on reaching the neighboring village
With our predicaments to ask for help,
Were greeted with the open arms of silence
And the corpses of innocent men, women and children
Also wasted, because two careless teens killed,
A cow that grazed on their father's farm.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A story on Fulani Herds Men terrorism in Nigeria
Editing stage: 

Comments

lends itself to the imagination of the reader. The closing lines give us a clue, but do not make clear, the reason for the war/feud. This is where the imagination of the reader has to take over completely. Did the teens shoot the cow on their own father's land and were afraid to say that it was them? Did they kill the cow on someone else's land and not own up to it? Living half a world away, I am not privy to the local news and so would not have any idea of what triggered this incident. I thought your title good and it tells the tale of wasting human life and resources. Try to expand the part of the story that gives the reader a clear picture of the catalyst. ~ Geezer.
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