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warning

.
time flies

like an arrow

fruit flies

like things sweet.

smoking clogs

your arteries

and may well burn

your feet..

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

keep going. For me it's a few very good catchy pencil lines as you are starting a sketch, but the finished drawing is far still off.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

my apologies
but it is as is
and needs know
nothing

apologies
no not know

author comment

I think I agree with Eumolpus, would love to see this developed into something more. You've got our attention, keep going! Develop that warning into something we may not have thought of before.

Kelsey

Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment.

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...so be content with what you have,
it's all we know.
Thank you intently,

Gunnar.

author comment

agreement. Let's have a bit more!
~ Geezer.
.

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or did you mean something more than
as opposed to a bit more?
no mind, but thank you Geezer.

Gunnar

author comment

...there are times when i feel like a weird elf
snapping at your heels
because i can.

g

author comment

smoking clogs may well burn your feet
if you happen upon wearing them
at the time of their combustion.

sorry, i didn't mean to set the world alight.

where's mr crud, when you need him?

author comment
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