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War Child

Little girl, trying to sleep in your bed
don’t listen to the sound of the bombs nearby
just close your eyes and try not to cry
and let your brother sing you a lullaby.

And don’t listen to the noise of the guns
as the bullets flash by your door, don’t cry
just think of the peace found in sleep
while your brother sings you a lullaby.

Little girl, as you sleep in your bed
when you dream, try not to dream of the day
when soldiers came with their guns
and took your father away.

And when you wake up to a new day
looking for the sun, through the dust and smoke
try to find some hope in that terrible place
as you and your brother strive to cope.

Little girl, war is the world of grown ups
and there is nothing you can do
even if you tell them of your fear and sorrow
no one will listen to you.

But when the war is over and done
and you no longer hear an exploding shell
maybe your young life will be a better place
more like Heaven and less like Hell.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

Sigh..

Too many children live as a *war child*... how does that equate to *normal* growing up, when in our own culture we create wars: overseas, in our neighborhoods, on drugs, on Mexicans, on Congresswomen, on innocent bystanders, on Republicans, on Democrats, on gays, on the poor?

I get so sick of it sometimes, we just haven't grown up as humans into our own humanity.

Thanks for the poem. I'm not a fan of rhyme but for the content.

~A

p.s. here should be hear

Thanks for the comment,
Tim

author comment

I too feel the content, as we all should, but think the
poems message is lessened by the rhyming ... just my
thoughts, thanks for sharing with us.

Richard

Thanks for commenting Richard. I have to admit, I'm more comfortable when writing rhyme although I do sometimes try to be different
take care,
Tim.

author comment

Barry and I were discussing rhyming poems/poets last night (hope you don't mind this on your page, Tim). I made mention of the fact that in the UK and Australia, there are so many rhyming poets, (or those who start so on this list)--especially in Australia where a friend won awards for *Bush Poetry*.

In the land that gave us Sylvia Plath, and Ted Hughes, two of our favourites, I thought perhaps because the old romanticists, Yeats, Shelley, Keats etc. were read and taught in schools. Imo there will never be other masters of the rhyme such as the aforementioned, but there are numerous fledgling Bukowskis. As are the numerous poets if one goes to the city where one lives, the chances are not a rhymer amoung them. I listened to Brian & Olya when they posted their reads in the old Neopoet. Canadians in their area, are not rhymers either. And though I've heard rhyming poetry, it's usually of a comical theme. Not serious work.

And though it may be *comfortable* to write rhyming poetry, it's certainly a good as any place to start, but it does well, very well, to get out of one's *comfort zone* until one is totally comfortable with their poetry. To say that you're *comfortable* tells me you have not stretched your wings,
Tim.

I also read your page and you say you are influenced by songs and songwriters, not poets. However, almost all songs are poems that stand on their own. AND given the additional dimension of music and instrumentation. Psyve is a good example of this.

His poetry is spell-binding, as is his voice & guitar playing, the music he wrote to accompany his *poem*.

Respectfully,
Anna

Hi Anna, yes I take your point on 'Comfortable' and almost felt it wrong to use at the time. I think I should have used a word more like prefer, or happy with. But I do agree that you do have to test yourself out a bit and I did submit 2 or 3 non rhymers on the original Neopoet side.

I used to think that rhyming was an easy option from the point of view of others and they would consider me rather old fashioned and not very good because of it. Yet at the same time, there seem to be those who choose not to rhyme because they find it difficult to. Each to his own I suppose.

I don't consider myself as very educated in poetry but I do love writing it. I only started writing in middle age, I'm 62
and it's wonderful to get feedback from people like you. Poetry websites like this have opened up a new world for me and long may it continue.
best regards,
Tim

author comment

Hi again, Tim. Thank you for this dialogue. You have no idea how many *poets* are loathe to speak. I probably know less about poetry then you do, since I favoured mental exercises via math and scientific explorations of soul and thought, ending with (meta)physics. However, I have sort of bridged the gaps via poetry, for in my experience, poetry speaks to the mind through the heart, or visa versa...

In any case , this poem shows you have heart, and that is the best thing that a poet can bring to any table, poetry or otherwise....no matter what style we prefer or take comfort in....we pray for a world where children don't have to live in a *war zone*, ever again.

Thank you. Best to you and your loved ones.

With admiration,

~A

Thanks Anna!

author comment

This poem is the most beautiful poem I have read about kids and wars. I see here in Libya many news about kids in Palestine and some other African countries .It’s so sad to see this and you can't do anything even small help which may make different for those kids.
Thank you very much again, and sure I will read your other poems.
luvxxxxxxx

Mona Rose

Hi Mona,
not sure if we have met before or not? however thank for your encouraging comments which are much appreciated,
take care,
Tim

author comment

Shirley, thank you, this is such a lovely comment of yours for me to read and the poem is itself one which is very important to me.
many thanks.
Tim

author comment

Needn't to say lots can relate to this. What an awful time we are living. This tells it all and tells it well.
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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So Sad, that there is so much truth in what I've written and also that it is as bad as ever for this sort of child, thanks for commenting, Tim

author comment

I grew up with mai lai
richie rich and the wealthy cambodian prince..dc attempt
at sympathies
stedmans sold rubber tire shoes made in asia
same kind the viet cong wore
and when I think Im having a hard
day I run the hour long video of Ukraine..Russia
and think of germany invading
think of holland and the spanish
waterloo
wounded knee
and children of war
bred to be soldiers
or else

UN peacekeepers
i knew a young man from bosnia
so greatly affected
I asked when he helped with moving
an appliance in
whats his story
(I read people...was my living for a time when
i Was on the road..and listening...like an ear
a vortex to the spinning intertia and energy
of the energy of the stories)
he was in Bosnia

say no more....

I grew up with the potential for violence on weekends
a match hovering on a wick
to a powderkeg that never went off

nine years of my beginning..every other night
then the road
diffusing people

poetry saved me
like Love
the muses of wars
emotional

still I am in the trenches
fresh and sublime
while the intellect
stream flows about

how can we assist

a good take and view on
what does and is going on

thank U

Thanks Esker for such a detailed and interesting reply.
which is very poetic in itself. It's very encouraging to receive such a response to something I have written. Take care.
Tim

author comment
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