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Wanderlust

I want to run
until wildflowers meet the horizon,
a mere silhouette, shaking hands,
terrified of starting over
out where gypsies roam,
singing a song to no one
until my senses rise again,
until I am no longer numb,
petals outstretched,
until alone isn’t such a sad sound
after all.

Leave me to stand still
in a city of millions,
at an intersection,
watching lights change,
cars passing by, sun-soaked towers
become an aisle of neon lights
and blinding billboards.
Where the people are too busy
to acknowledge a soul of wanderlust
dusted in star light and wonder.
Lost isn’t always an empty heart.

I want to run.
Yet I fear the suitcase hitting
the worn carpet of a vacant room,
laying awake with passing headlights
on the highway, chasing skyways.
I keep trying to find a scene
not reminiscent of you and me
but even in hollow moon beams
there you are.
Broken isn’t a noise
the heart always makes.

Sometimes I find the pieces
at the bottom of my coffee cup,
another Monday morning in
this mundane routine.
A kaleidoscope glass of rum,
at 2 AM for whiskey was
the heartbreak before you.
To say I’m unafraid to spend
the weekend home alone
is a lie.

I stand out on the edge
of this prairie town in December.
I stare down the highway,
questioning what is it that’s
out there for me?
For I don’t think the life I want
is ever going to find me here.
Yet fleeing down that white line
has never solved a damn thing.

So, I stand still.

But I want to run.

Editing stage: 

Comments

...for every time i've woke feeling like that!

very much enjoyed. thank you!

g

Thank you! A pleasure to meet you. I have been feeling this restlessness heavily again lately. My life fell apart earlier this year and I feel the need for somewhere new.

~ Lavinia ~

"You could say I lost everything. But I still had my Bedazzler. I'm going to be a star. You know why? Because I have nothing left to lose." ~ Lady Gaga ~

author comment

Are you still there? I enjoyed many of your lines, but this one most of all. "For I don't think the life the I want, is ever going to find me here." As far as I'm concerned, that line could be the whole poem! ~ Gee.
.

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Here I remain, in this prairie town. Still looking for a way out. Got married, it fell apart, he cheated, we're getting divorced. My life crumbled one more and this is such a goodbye town and I need to get out. For good.

I hope you are well <3

~ Lavinia ~

"You could say I lost everything. But I still had my Bedazzler. I'm going to be a star. You know why? Because I have nothing left to lose." ~ Lady Gaga ~

author comment

that you find a way out of there and get out of the rut that you are in. Take special care and find somewhere to heal. I am as well as can be expected,[Although winning the lottery would raise my spirits considerably.] As always, ~ Gee.
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Winning the lottery would solve many problems! And it would get me the hell out of here.

I am glad you are well. <3

~ Lavinia ~

"You could say I lost everything. But I still had my Bedazzler. I'm going to be a star. You know why? Because I have nothing left to lose." ~ Lady Gaga ~

author comment

Marriage and divorce
are the verse and obverse
of the same coin

Thus the Western world so vastly independent remains
two unknown get together for nuptials it retains
but take care have a bond pre-placed as the two love lust may soon burst ...guys today are no more that chivalrous ...nor are women any more angels
Both have a side to hide ...some openly ride... some secretly glide
some guys keep an eye and oversee they also those air kind of spies apply
and women say they are on their way to their jobs
but then turn about half way
to their lovers for a brief stay
and then what happens
you must know
drones come out with all ...so next time you decide to marry have pre-divorce signed
before you let him leap on a golden mine
body thine
as much tas divine

sorry my maiden visit
I may remove all of it

I'm just not getting married again. Ever. I may never date again either. It's just not worth it.

~ Lavinia ~

"You could say I lost everything. But I still had my Bedazzler. I'm going to be a star. You know why? Because I have nothing left to lose." ~ Lady Gaga ~

author comment

twice before... But here I am for the third time and married almost 30 years, this one.
So never say never! I do know how you feel though. What you need, is to get away from that little prairie town and find a nice warm place to heal up. Hope that the opportunity arises for you soon. Take care and don't forget to write. ~ Gee.
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My poor little broken heart needs a new town and a new start. Desperately. My dating pool here is ridiculous. The longer I linger here, the less I have. It's at the point where I have nothing to lose by selling my house, packing up my critters and just going.

~ Lavinia ~

"You could say I lost everything. But I still had my Bedazzler. I'm going to be a star. You know why? Because I have nothing left to lose." ~ Lady Gaga ~

author comment
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