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Walk in the Rain

Come walk with me in the rain
and
let us forget ourselves…
all our tensions shall drain
and
go down along with the rain.

None shall know what happened
the rain comes in spates
so do tensions,
there is no apprehension
let’s dance in the coolness
of the natures gift,
there should not be a trace of any rift
and
as we submerge within and without
the rain alone
will be a witness no doubt

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

like a sombre toast
at a funeral pyre

only suggestion for line changes
other then that your writing is
a feast for my minds eye
turning

and the breezes burning

and the breezes burning..

glad you liked it
Did you read the one I composed
one for/on you

loved

author comment

Love that combo
Im not understanding the full text
Please do explain Loved!!

i have one entirely for you...
titled
Only Esker

loved

author comment

I shall go now to read!

Walk in the Rain
Submitted by loved on Sun, 2012-02-05 12:34

Come walk with me in the rain
and
let us forget ourselves…
all our tensions shall drain
and
go down along with the rain.

None shall know what happened
the rain comes in spates
so do tensions,
there is no apprehension
let’s dance in the coolness
of the natures gift,
there should not be a trace of any rift
and
as we submerge within and without
the rain alone
will be a witness no doubt

loved

author comment
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