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A Walk On The Beach(IMAGERY WORKSHOP SUBMISSION)
The ocean and it's beaches
what then is more wonderful
Thunderous waves crashing on to the shore
Beating the sand into submission
Sounding much like a violent storm
The hiss left by the breaking waves
As it scurried back to the sea
The air is filled with the cries of seagulls
In search of food
Radios from the beach dwellers produce a cacophony
of sound as different stations come together
Children screeching in fear or delight
Parents issuing instructions to their children
Vendors selling their wares
chanting come get your
all up and down the beach
The boardwalk is a blaze with color
and rings, bells and whistles
that drift on the air
from the games and food vendors
shouts of joy and excitement
waft down to the on lookers
from the dare devil rides
The beach once you've walked it
You will return
for where else can you find
A plethora of sight and sound
Style / type:
Free verse
Last few words:
This is a workshop submission
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Region & Country
North Carolina
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allen Poe, James Patterson, Dean Koontz, Leonard Cohen
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Comments
Debra Bryant
Mon, 2012-03-12 16:19
Let me guess...Auditory?
Having never been to the ocean, I have nothing to compare your imagery to but the sights and sounds you have described make me want to go all the more!
my favorite lines:
"Thunderous waves crashing on to the shore
Beating the sand into submission
Sounding much like a violent storm
The hiss left by the breaking waves
As it scurried back to the sea"
Deb
China Blue
Mon, 2012-03-12 18:45
Deb
Yes auditory it was
the beach and ocean is beautiful and filled with all kinds of sounds
thanks for the comment
Chrys
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
author commentNordic cloud
Mon, 2012-03-12 16:33
O how delightful this is
O how delightful this is China Blue, you painted a sound picture for me.
Well done.
Ann of Norway.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
China Blue
Mon, 2012-03-12 18:46
Ann
Then I did good lol
thanks for the read and comment
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
author commentscribbler
Mon, 2012-03-12 17:41
To All
Yes the assigned Imagery was Auditory. I'll comment when Ya'll are done.........stan
loved
Tue, 2012-03-13 13:27
The beaches i've been to
The beach once you've walked it
You will return
for where else can you find
A plethora of sight and sound
Audio- tarry
you have depicted wonderfully
the happenings in beaches
I have seen many
Goa ,Montreal ,Chicago
New York Miami
Marine Drive and Chennai....
all beaches have a great deal of similarity
in sounds of music
loved
China Blue
Tue, 2012-03-13 13:35
loved
Thank you very much for your input
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
author commentscribbler
Tue, 2012-03-13 22:04
Hi Chrys
Almost impossible to describe the beach without alluding to visuals as you did in line 17 lol. The only other sounds I can think of is radios playing and surf fishermen shouting. Very good. I could close my eyes and hear it. Get a few more comments then start thinking about whether you want to rewrite in auditory or an imagery of your own choosing..............stan
China Blue
Tue, 2012-03-13 22:13
Stan
I think it impossible to exclude all but one image
I did mention the radios
the only thing I left out were the fisherman guess cause all the beaches I have been on the fisherman are kept in a separate part
ok I'll think just let me know when it is my turn
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
author commentscribbler
Wed, 2012-03-14 08:54
Hi Chrys
Guess I read too quickly and missed the radios(maybe the noise of the crowd drowned them out lol). I have seen surf fishermen at Myrtle beach but only in the early morn before the swimmers were awake. And I am not suggesting you mess this poem up by omitting the one visual, just pointing out how hard it is to write a poem of any length using just one,which is why I set Min. length so low lol........stan.PS If not for subject I had thought od sumbitting a Haiku lmao
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2012-03-14 22:00
Chrya
Pack full of auditory
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
China Blue
Wed, 2012-03-14 22:15
Barbara
thank you
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2012-03-18 13:42
Dear Chrys,
I got both auditory and visual from this read. I had a problem with this line being unclear to me:
chanting come get your
all up and down the beach
But a good write. I found it hard to keep from mixing my senses, too :)
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
China Blue
Tue, 2012-03-20 18:56
Cat
That lineis what the vendors that walk up and down the beach say
come get your ice cream for example
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
author commentNordic cloud
Wed, 2012-03-21 02:59
This is still terrific in its
This is still terrific in its clamour of sound, Chrys, just one thing...
"The boardwalk is a blaze with color" ...ablaze is one word here as an adjective? Or a blaze of colour.
Nordic cloud.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
China Blue
Wed, 2012-03-21 11:13
Ann
One word sorry thatnks for noticing trhat
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
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