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Wakeful Night

Submitted by t. reflexion on Tue, 2012-02-21 23:38

All night long
I stay awake
Eyes on the screen
I read them all
Posted pieces
They dance around
Some short and long
Rich in content
Varied in structure
From free verse
In feet and meters
Rhythmic heart beats
A fusion of words
In hearts of men

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Wed, 2012-02-22 13:39

Candlewitch's picture
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Good title and language use. The content is a subject I am familiar with. I liked these lines:

Rhythmic heart beats
A fusion of words
In hearts of men

always, Cat

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t. reflexion

Sat, 2012-02-25 21:14

t. reflexion's picture

It is a piece I wrote to chatch up with Neopoet workshop, but missed the dateline, best wishes

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

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weirdelf

Thu, 2012-02-23 00:20

weirdelf's picture
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but you have written this superbly.

I am especially impressed that you are challenging yourself in poetic form.

Would you be offended if I said I am proud of you? I don't mean to be condecending.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

t. reflexion

Sat, 2012-02-25 21:21

t. reflexion's picture

Rather, always happy to get your coments and criticism, I tried writing this during the just concluded workshop on more meters, Thank you for making me to hear the beating of my heart and the heartbeats of others on posted pieces of poetry. Best wishes

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment
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