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Waiting for the Doctor

Surrounded by red desert and blue ocean,
the city realises, and suffers
the magnified full impact
of the sweltering southern afternoon sun's
harsh, reflective rays.

While I seek the illusive comfort of shade,
sitting simmering in sweaty stickiness,
a vibration, a long reverberating thrum from within, rises,
unites with the oppressive weight of extrinsic heat
and wends its way into the very expanse of reality,
insidiously dulling my senses,
rhythmically sounding, echoing through my being.

Eyelids, too heavy, droop, flicker, close.
Slow-witted, head leaden
I veer towards the edge of sleep unconsciousness.
Floating in warm, lethargic air,
gently tumbling through a sea of pulsating energy,
drifting through space and time...

... lazing, sprawled on her front veranda steps,
breathing in the thick, sweet scent of my grandfather's roses,
while the sticky buzzing of a blowfly drones
in rhythm to the distant sound of the occasional tone of traffic
from the highway, half a mile away.

I smell long-forgotten grandma scent - apple pie and lavender.
I hear her murmuring, slowly, softly,
'Won't you buy my pretty flowers?'
to the cadence of gentle, soothing, clinking,
as she lackadaisically, with straw, stirs
lemon and ice cubes
in a tall glass of gin and tonic
(for pure medicinal purpose)
and, as if from the base of a deep, dense fog, I dimly hear her say,
"Well, here he is. He's early today."
And Fremantle's own Doctor of renown breezes in,
this great physician's breath bringing
cooling ointment from the Antarctic...

... to caress my thirsty skin
and rouse me from my illusion,
as I open my eyes and wake to today,
where she is not.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
The Fremantle Doctor, 'The Freo Doctor', or simply 'The Doctor', is the Western Australian vernacular term for the cooling afternoon sea breeze which occurs during summer months in south west coastal areas of Western Australia. It is called this because it appears to come from the nearby coastal and port city of Fremantle, and it brings welcome relief from the summertime high temperatures.
Editing stage: 

Comments

The whole poem is beautifully written. I love the way it lazes along... drifting slowly throught the verses and the day. Sharing a low energy level and peacefulness with the reader. You tell an engaging story with your verses and the imagery is superb. I loved the wistful ending lines:

... to caress my thirsty skin
and rouse me from my illusion,
as I open my eyes and wake to today,
where she is not.

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

for the great comments
i'm never sure with free form ...
those in the know say there is no set form, but it still supposedly has rules - but no-one says what those rules are

lol - i quote from one source:
'Free verse is a form of poetry that does not necessarily follow to any specific meter patterns, rhyme, or any other pattern. Free verse, despite its freedom, often still has some elements of form. Most free verse does observe a convention of lines and structure.'

what's a girl to do?
so i really appreciate your feedback - thank you
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I realise that this is new to you, free verse judyanne,
you sure were hot that day, perhaps in fever...

Like a snake the heat slithers into your poem and you wish for the past
the Rain serpent to manifest itself instead.

Did you mean "MY front veranda steps," her... suddenly appeared.
Oh the day is a she!

Wow I'll bet its hot when you say its hot,
the word hot is at least a hot word,
the Norwegians say "varm(t)" and eating Varm dogs
or polser(tepid sausages)is a horrifying thought.

A wordy poem that, due to that,
is slightly heavy to read,
but then its HOT. So you are forgiven (while we froze today!!).

They say roses are good in food too.
Blowfly drones sound ominous,
and with the distant traffic,
you make me shudder even in the heat.

If only ointment from the Antarctic could cool.

Enjoyed the sticky heat,
knowing that I don't have to endure it!!
Did the doctor help you?
I hope so. Clink.

annanya.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

although not as hot as it has been
it is raining (finally) - but still not cool - very tropical

the 'her' is my grandmother - i have drifted back in time....
and i hope i identify her when i speak of my 'grandfathers roses' on the next line
lol - maybe not... :)

thanks for the kind comments
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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