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wait for me ...my firstest poem here

Submitted by loved on Sat, 2012-06-02 18:06

Wait for me
around the edge
when it’s my time
hold my hand
squeeze it gently
to show your love

come to my arms
just for a while,
as time slips
below my feet
when in a whiff
I’m about to go
over the cliff
hold me tight
just once more
for then who knows for sure
whether I shall be

your love is all I sought
these years gone by
just hold me once more
for it’s the last loving way
for one to really say
oh loved one do please
hold on
do stay
the time has not yet come
to pass away.....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Wed, 2012-06-06 10:07

Ian.T's picture
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As there is NO time in that beautiful place I know of, I hope that ios where you are going when you finally jump as if off a cliff.
It is the hardest of things for a person to let go if only they knew what was there they would joyfully run to it. This is all part of our journey not knowing if it is the next bus we should take or the one after that we will take that journey as our Earth visit ends.
There not being any time there, I will call you later, Nice write, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Nordic cloud

Thu, 2012-06-07 14:43

Nordic cloud's picture

This has a lovely perched expectancy,
we see and feel your dilemma, I liked this poem.

Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

loved

Wed, 2012-06-13 08:30

loved's picture

this was the first poem of mine ,
you read .
Since slightly , rather mostly modified .
Glad you liked it .

loved

author comment

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2012-06-13 02:39

Nordic cloud's picture

This is still a good poem.
Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

loved

Fri, 2012-08-31 11:26

loved's picture

and named me Istan
for whatever reason
you may have had..

then your impression was...
that English was a foreign language
for me...
so it appeared ..
thanks anyway ma'am..

loved

author comment
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