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Voyage of The Rum Runner... Chapter II
The storm roared
as a living thing
throughout the night
only to whimper away
at the appearance
of the brash sun.
The flotsam of our brave ship
spread upon the shore
gave the only proof
of her demise.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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New York State - USA
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Comments
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-07-22 16:48
I love ...
"The storm roared
as a living thing
throughout the night
only to whimper away
at the appearance
of the brash sun."
The the usage of personification in the poem. It creates an image in the reader's mind in a more engaging way.
You're a poetic master!
Nice piece!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Geezer
Sat, 2022-07-23 07:23
Thank you...
Those are my favorite lines also. I thought of the sun being brash, because it appeared as though nothing had happened and was as hot and merciless as any other day. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2022-07-22 17:00
Hi Gee
you alway manage to get a lot into a few words
Geezer
Fri, 2022-07-22 23:55
Yeah, though...
sometimes, I am wordy as all get out! Thanks for the read and comments
~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-07-22 17:44
I suppose I’m going to have to insert myself into this tale
Hopefully in the morning
RoseBlack
Sat, 2022-07-23 00:59
I love this
Simple, short write with an excellent story. I look forward to reading more about this.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-07-23 04:51
dear Rose,
it all started with "The Voyage Of The Rum Runner" by Candlewitch and continues by talented poets.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Sat, 2022-07-23 07:30
We are...
having an unofficial round-robin. Just a little something to keep things fresh around here. I can make it an oficial kind of thing by compilng a list and having people going in turn, if there is enough interest. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
author commentRoseBlack
Sat, 2022-07-23 08:21
I have interest
Perhaps a new activity here on Neo? I kind of like the informal challenges like we have been doing with colors as well!! I think it really brought out some of the best in all of us. We have lots of new members that are actively participating so they may be interested in some of these activities as well.
~RoseBlack~
Geezer
Sat, 2022-07-23 08:56
I will cogitate...
on this new development. Glad to see that there is interest. Informal is good, but there will have to be a little structure. I think that a list to keep things from getting out of hand and order should be a prerequisite. Few rules, but at least a couple. Thanks for showing interest. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
author commentRoseBlack
Sat, 2022-07-23 09:04
Structure is a must
To keep the flow going and keep everything on task. I am excited to see what comes of this :)
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-07-23 04:57
good work, Geez,
your continuation is mighty fine! I cannot choose favorite lines or break apart something that stands on it's own two feet. nice work!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Sat, 2022-07-23 09:00
As I have...
indicated to RoseBlack, I like the idea well enough to make it an official kind of thing, if there seems to be enough interest.
I will think upon the whole idea and come up with a proposal. Thanks for getting this started. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
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