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VOL DE NUIT rewritten

Submitted by Geremia on Thu, 2015-12-31 14:56

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VOL DE NUIT

sudden silences, different paths,
forsaken friendships of the past,
parallel lines intersecting
for a while,
feeding lies , faking words
faking smiles
abrupt endings
night flight to tangential lives
as we live so we die
alone
no one left to cry

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

wesley snow

Thu, 2015-12-31 16:42

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They are as important as the poetry itself as it shines light on who you are.
The poem is poignant.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Geremia

Thu, 2015-12-31 17:14

Geremia's picture

thanks./I will work on it.

jor

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Geezer

Thu, 2015-12-31 22:57

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I ask a poet, if they might find a way, to shorten the lines, but in this case, I kind of agree with Wes.
I'd like to see a more elegant, descriptive wording. I see the finality and the end of the poem. ~ Gee

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Geremia

Fri, 2016-01-01 09:25

Geremia's picture

ok I'll work on it. Thanks,

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