Neopoet

Tue, 2017-05-16 05:06

This is very touching Gee. A

This is very touching Gee. A snapshot of your family life. I think we've all had calls like that with our Mum.
I like the direct speech and the way you have used very short lines towards the end. To me, it winds down the poem, finishes the conversation.
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

Tue, 2017-05-16 10:01

Thanks Jane...

Yeah, my mom says so much in so few words on the phone. She is like a different person; in person. Us kids sometimes laugh about who has the shortest call from her lately. As you might have noted, Most of the conversation was the voices in my head. LOL. I used to call her and she was never home; she said [ you never call me] I said: you're always out. So now when she calls me, she says, " This is your Mom, just checking in." ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Tue, 2017-05-16 11:02

Title brilliant. Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

Esker

Tue, 2017-05-16 11:58

much heart and feeling in this

i used to listen to the beatles jim croce
nico..then after mom passed much
went down i crank chelsea wolfe
and metal goth
courtney love
punk and seventies
the tenderness we wished for
was there...along with the rest
but now where is the blame
or as my daughter sad
Dad try not to look back with
sighing or sadness
rebuild
we all rebooted in our family
island now us
but its nice to see the families
that had the more luxury of
love then mere objects
which are nice
but its the humanity that
feeds the soul!

thank U Gee!

Steven!

Wed, 2017-05-17 06:48

Thanks Mark...

Mom has always been that way. In the face of some of the most adverse circumstances, she has been a rock. Life has never been easy for her, but she says that if life weren't hard, we wouldn't have the joy of the good times. She has been there for all of us whenever we needed her. She hasn't always approved of the life choices we have made, but she has defended our right to make them. A constant source of optimism, she is the light of our family. I'm glad that this has resonated with you, it makes me feel as though it's all worth the effort to get it right. ~ Gee,
,

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Fri, 2017-05-19 02:04

beautiful mom urs gee

beautiful mom yours Gee

I once composed
''MOM SMILES''
if you have some time
over a week end
do smile
my mom also will love you

she may not be able to give you a ring
she has no internet connection now
where ever she may be
but daily she sends a dozen kisses for me
through the winds
and
I fly back kisses daily
the clouds carry them slowly
but deliberately

she still smiles
back at me...
no one ever reached 90
in my family
nor will I
you may see
I am just about nearing 80

Fri, 2017-05-19 02:30

Love that Lovedly. It's

Love that Lovedly. It's beautiful. Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

Fri, 2017-05-19 02:53

Thank you Ma'am JANE

Quick looks both poems

My mom passed away early
Beautiful mom yours

I once composed
''MOM SMILES''
If you have some time
over a week end
do smile
my mom also will love you

She may not be able to give you a ring
she has no Internet connection now
where ever she may be
but daily she sends a dozen kisses for me
through the winds
and
I fly back kisses daily
the clouds carry them slowly
but deliberately

She still smiles
back at me
No one ever reached 90
in my family
nor will me
you may see
I am just about to be touching 80

Mom's Smiles

Very sentimental poetry
I recall my mom’s last eyes
no tears
Smiles as she passed by
tears did not then come into my eyes I too smiled

Then it rained all day and night
mom’s smiles went away
now I thirst for those looks till today
as she passed away

it rains till today
nearly five decades away
she still smiles daily at me
I, my mom can see
smiling with me

It does no longer rain
now it only snows
heaven knows
when she calls out to me
when are you coming?
I smile back and ask
are you still waiting for me

Fri, 2017-05-19 03:57

Brought a tear to my eye, my

Brought a tear to my eye, my Mum is still alive and I need to remember to enjoy the time we have here and now. Sometimes it's easy to get a bit exasperated, when really the fault is not hers.
Thanks for the reminder Lovedly.
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

Fri, 2017-05-19 07:44

my master who may or may not have seen any poetic potential

in me
once said
''Let tears come into the eyes of readers
if they have to
but if they come in the poet's eyes
who will listen to him>????'''

You make me a poet ma'am
and
as for Keith

I lost my sister a few days before her marriage
i was just six
it appears she is laying here
though abs still
70 years
since
memories are brains intelligent cells
poets alone can recall
who else but like you can
be A POET!

Keith Logan

Fri, 2017-05-19 06:41

Gee, Loved

You both have wonderful memories. Hold onto them. I lost my mum before I was six but still have some sweet recollections. Mother-love, there is nothing like it, even God used it to illustrate how he feels about those who serve him.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Fri, 2017-05-19 07:47

K L

You make me a poet ma'am
and
as for

Keith

I lost my sister a few days
just a week
before her marriage
i was just six
it appears
she is laying here
though abs still
70 years
since

memories are brain's
intelligent cells
poets alone can recall
who else but like you can
be A POET!

Fri, 2017-05-19 22:52

Thanks Keith...

Of course, all our Mom's are special, but no one knows them like we do, except our siblings.
~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

scribbler

Fri, 2017-05-19 09:29

Gee

Sometime a poem touches the reader in its simplicity. Everyday events portrayed in their simplest manner. A very good thing, a very good poem........stan

Fri, 2017-05-19 23:00

I knew that...

you would appreciate this one Stan. I see your emotion and respect for life in it's simplicity, whenever I read anything that you write.
I think that it is a fine thing to create a work that is complicated and has a subtleness that makes a person think, but many times, you need only to put it simply and honestly to achieve the effect. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment