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A Villanelle

On the Dude Ranch
(a Villanelle)

Fair autumn came; oh, what a day!
Fresh breezes cool this arid land
While in the pen two fillies play.

It’s sunrise—“Giddy up,” I say.
The rooster crows to beat the band,
Fair autumn came; oh, what a day!

Now Sunday riders come— I pray,
But then bring out the granny stand,
While in the pen two fillies play.

Dudes wear tall hats, but with dismay
I note the sandals I had banned;
Fair autumn came; oh, what a day!

But, Sunday riders help me pay
Those bills so hard to understand,
While in the pen two fillies play.

A bucked-off rider?? Damn! I say,
Was dragged by Nell; broke foot and hand;
Fair autumn came; oh, what a day,
While in the pen two fillies play.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
my final contribution. Got to travel on. Adios, muchachas/muchachos.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

The first two stanzas set an exciting and lively scene. I really like your second repeating line that keeps pulling us away from the events of the day and to the two fillies

raffy

thank you very much, kind friend. I appreciate your comment. Best to you, Jerry

author comment

to leave us with. I certianly hope that it is not a final goodbye, but a brief interlude. It has been a real pleasure to have you here on the site and I hope that we have not seen the last of you. ~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

No final good-bye, just a temporary hiatus to give my old eyes a rest. Minor surgery has been planned for next week, and after a short-term recovery I hope to be back in action.
Thanks for the fun, good friend. Jerry

author comment

to hear that. Yeah, I had to have the lazer treatment for glaucoma a while back and maybe some cataract in the [distant I hope] future. I only have one working eye, so I know how important taking care of your eyes is. Be well, and hope everything goes according to plan and we see your next big splash on our pages soon. Can't wait. ~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

enjoyed the Villanelle....wishing you a successful surgery ..a full recovery and then be back...

I am sure the poet's vision will make you come up with something new even during the hiatus ...

take best care....

raj (sublime_ocean)

I want to thank you both for your best wishes, and I'll be back with more of my cornball verses. Surgery is on Wednesday (shouldn't the surgeon be playing golf on that day?).
Thanks, guys. Jerry

author comment

they always took Thursday off. That's why he wants to do it on a Wedensday, so that he can relax after screwing up on the day before he goes to play. ~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

here in Arizona Doctors play by different rules. Golf time is anytime but this lady surgeon wants to see me on the gurney sparsely clad, but it must be on this particular Wednesday. How can I refuse her? I hope she doesn't wear a mustache beneath the surgical mask. See ya. J.

author comment
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