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The Venus and the Fly

The fly sails about unaware of the creature of deceit below
It swoops steadily despite having no clear direction of where to go and lands on the doorstep of death
It knows that it wants not to kickback but to feast
So although the sharp fly knew of the plant's soon betrayal, it was allured by its sweet scent
The fly faces a decision
It could fly towards bigger things like leftover meals, or it could chase the Venus’s scent, a meal on its own
Now temptation has not just knocked on the door, it has come in, sat down, and poured itself a drink
The fly could not see, hear, smell, taste, or touch anything but the candied dupe
The fly was not weak
The fly was not a fool
The fly was,most certainly, not ignorant
But it was seduced, and the Venus was patient
It was a battle the fly could not win no matter how hard it flapped its small wings
And like many others before it, it fell.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
About 3 lines came to me while washing dishes so I wrote this whole thing to go with them. So I'm not really sure if it's a poem but I think it's nifty
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Thanks Alan! I can definitely see why those would help and I'll start adding them!!

-- piplup

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