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Vamped Up

At last a subject to get my teeth into
With that underlying current of pulsating red gold
Yum Bloody Yum

Soft flesh the kiss of death
Or if you like everlasting flight
I is the creature of the night

Yesterday I wore shades but to no avail
The mere thought of day made me feel queer
Bring on the shadows

The night I first had a fright
I had seen all the vampire films there were
Gorgeous woman and lots of blood everywhere

Then reality sank in
Flying around at night the Earth I skimmed
All I could find on those trips of mine

Well here’s the truth if you should wish to wander as I do
Most of my women would make a tough stew
I don’t recommend this eternal curse to you

My first hit was a woman of ninety two
Good day to you I shall sleep on through
Then wander again in a new vein

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just for Stan a quick write to chill the night Ha Ha Oh! if you knock me on my back be gentle with me.LOL
Editing stage: 

Comments

Could have been worse. Could have been a 93 year old Man lol...................stan

Now I am not sure, it had boobs of a sort,
but I didn't look further than the neck I promise LOL.
Take care out there,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Don't let them use the white coat. It's not a tux no matter what they say.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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It''s far too late they said they were from Scarface, as I remembered he wore a white suit, so I was caught unawares.
Wondered why they wore Nike gym shoes,
But it was the van that gave them away it was a lovely padded thing with big ornate locks,
Please come and tell them I is not mad..
Yours Ian.T He He

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

... you are mad.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Please don't come over to bail me out I have some people on my side and once they are let out they will petition for my release He He.
I know my friends there are four but total many so thanks for your usual support, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Boiling toughened meat will always break it down...

My blood boils often...does that make me tender-hearted in any way?

Jog-on!

Ells xx

This was just a write for Stan as he asked for us all to write a vampire piece to see how we all were different, but it is hard just being able to come out at night, and writing in the dark, the red ink doesn't show up very well on Humon velum.
Thanks for your visit, have to fly the sun is coming up,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian, you are crossing over to my side....welcome! I abandoned vampires after my stint on the original Neo as Hardcorechick28. Intriguing write, nice to see the darker side coming out. :):)

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I ain't crossing over as the flood water is too deep,
and I can't swim very well.
This one is for Stan as he was asking for us all to write a Vampire piece to just see the differing ways we write.
Hope you all are well I am off to my Son's for a couple of weeks on Wednesday, I shall try and keep in touch with you all lol.
Look forward to your Vampire write????
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

That request but I am sure the raven can drum up a good vampire write for you...until then...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

LOL. Love the poem and the comments.I've written one on zombie. Call it "The Frustrated Zombie".Check it out. Going to write one on vampire soon.

Alid

I had to laugh at Wesley's comment I am wondering why he hasn't said it to me yet, I have the papers to prove my madness... giggle :)

wonderful poem I loved it totally didn't know what to expect, I pleasantly enjoyed this one

much love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

met me? If anyone has a one way ticket on the crazy train, it's me! LOL! My world is full of vampires, serial killers and other things that make you scream in the night! Working on my vampire poem...we shall see how it turns out...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Just taking bookings for my Coven I know that's for witches but I can be bitchy sometimes lol, Take care,
Wesley I am worried about him????
Yours Spuggy

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Vampire poem posted...feel free to ride by and read

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Am off to my Sons in the morning so still need to pack my things lol
Take care am taking the laptop with so may write some poetry if I remember how,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Wesley is only jealous that I have lovely padded wagons to drive me around, and a beautiful room where I can run at the walls without hurting myself. LOL
Sorry I missed replying to this one, I am in Cornwall and my backup files are not here. You take care and make sure you rest, especially those thoughts of yours, you are good and a lovely person so never doubt that,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

its entitled "Vampies' Night." Check it out.

ALID

your poem carries no remorse, this is only achieved artistically, which you do so well

should I have remorse for being able to fly around at night
and to live for eternity, come on people would give their eye teeth for that I just sink mine into the odd vein lol,
Thanks for dropping in just make yourself at home the sun has just set...
He He

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

You're becoming dangerous of late.
Never play with vampires.
I can't even imagine I write half of this. Well done!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I am so sorry I missed your comment on this one I was away from home for a while, thanks a lot for your visit.
Me dangerous Ha Ha
Only if you leave your window open at night
But to fly in your region would take too much planning and you have to trust so many day people with transporting your box.
(Ref Dracula)
This was just a fun piece I haven't been out after dark for a long time, the stories of what happens frighten me He He.
Take care sweet lady I may recover ???
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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