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values

Submitted by judyanne on Fri, 2012-07-20 12:23

we hurtle towards calamity
with the pale rider on the pale horse
and incomprehensively lethal weapons
of mass destruction

while a budget for armament
elicits continued production

animals and birds
fish and plant
suffer painful death
through spilt black gold

while we refuse to explore
more expensive sources of power

twenty-four thousand people starve and die
every day
and a million more each year
from disease

while movie stars
are worth more than physicians
.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Fri, 2012-07-20 15:53

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so what do we do?
Make the poem say something we don't already know.

Don't ask me how, that will be the test of your genius.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

judyanne

Sat, 2012-07-21 11:44

judyanne's picture
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it was just a rant... i don't know how to fix it :)

but you have challenged me... and i'm always up for a challenge...
so far, though, anything i have thought of sounds either ‘teachy’ or supercilious lol

I’ll think on it ….
love judy xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

scribbler

Sat, 2012-07-21 11:29

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"The less your job actually produces, the more money you make" an old quote that grows truer every day. Nice rant..............stan

judyanne

Sat, 2012-07-21 11:45

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love judy xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

loved

Sat, 2012-07-21 13:46

loved's picture

pale rider on the pale horse.

you may like to make one
either the rider or horse
play
the other could remain as pale

also just imagine
that for a year there are no deaths
so many would become jobless
and
the population will explode ,
like a volcano
and
then what next ?
an additional generation
of the saved deaths year people.
explosion for nurses attention
wowow

loved

judyanne

Sun, 2012-07-22 00:54

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i like two 'pales' - for emphasis :)

trust you to point out the need for our being culled in one way or another to stop overpopulation....
but i was more ranting on how we value the movie star over the doctor, and destroy the earth with our drilling and resultant oil spills, when there are cleaner sources of power that are not used because of the cost...

love judy xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Candlewitch

Sat, 2012-07-21 15:28

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Your rant brings us all back to reality. The way of the world is to make the rich more so, and the cost to the planet be damned... so very sad.

love, Cat

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judyanne

Sun, 2012-07-22 00:54

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thank you for the read and comment
love judy xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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