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The Untouchable

I want to touch the clouds. I
want to know if I can stand
on it, and what it feels like. I want
to watch the water come up
to the clouds as it builds up
and gets ready to rain.

But, why do I want to know?
Is it simply because I'm
curious? Is it because I want
to know if It's possible? Or is
it because I want something
that is always there, something
I finally have that I don't have to
doubt. something I can fall into
when I want to leave this world.
An alternative to walking away
from life.

We only want to touch something
when we can't, or when no one has
felt it before. We only want an
answer when there is not one to
give. We only want proof because
we doubt. I only want to touch a
cloud so I can stop filling my brain
with wonders of finally touching
the untouchable, reaching for something
that is not there, hoping strong enough
to think that when I touch that cloud
I will not fall, but feel.

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Only crits. are: You use a plural for clouds in the first line, yet, refer to them in the next line as singular.
I would also change the line: hoping strong enough, to: believing or wishing badly enough or something similar. This held together well and I followed the theme easily. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

This may be a bit much to suggest but after changing "on it" in line three to something like "up there" I would drop the second verse completely. It does not add anything for me and the whole effect is much tighter and therefore stronger without it, (in my humble opinion). I like the title, it gives a clue without giving too much away.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
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