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Untitled scifaiku

ashes of cities left
by burning atmosphere-
a temper tantrum

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Scifaiku, an east west hybrid, perhaps? This is one of my published poems.
Editing stage: 


It does leave a picture ...

what about "Too hot to stop" or "Sizzler"

a scene of post-war cities and especially Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I think I get what you mean by a "temper-tantrum". I fear that some day, someone who has the power, will get a "bug up their butt"
and "push the button". I get it, I like it! ~ Geezer.

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At least that's how I see it.
Great one, Bwilliam !
Keep em coming,


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