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Untitled ephemera--updated

Where will I be tomorrow.
will you be there
to light my way
or will I be elecrtrc blue.
elrctricity
sparkling colors bright..
will I know ecstasy
when here I end
or will I be disappointed
again.

Editing stage: 

Comments

Well said !!

author comment

Remember the quote I used in my requiem for Jason?
His joy was expectations,
his present was often the disappointment
of a being with the strength to know that,
as George Bernard Shaw said
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

The final line seems to contain an ambiguity between being disappointed in what happens after death and whether you will die or not, be released from the misery of this life. A fine ambiguity.

As FrenchF said, worthy of Donne.

Sorry, I can't find anything to suggest in terms of critique except perhaps that "a crown of gold" seems... hubristic?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

You reached way down into the psyche.I willl edit "golden crown.")

Thanks,

Joe

author comment

Yes love it tooo

First I thought "Requiem for Jason " was just that. A line of prose.
Next I thought it was a poem by Jess. It was not
Or if it was I couldn't access it on Neopoet
Perhaps it was a poem from someone else? I was wrong
What then may I ask is " Requiem for Jason?
Such a lovely title or line has to be tabletted somewhere
If it hasn't been already

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

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