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Untitled

I've lost my truest love,
There's no need
for me to wake up anymore

I don’t want to hear
Nightingales song
I don’t even care
If the spruce
comes to greet me,

On my windowsill
All my bread is stale,
As stale as my thoughts.

As tasteless, as the evenings dinner
I still cook for my love
In the hope
He will just for once
Come back to eat with me.

A presence of closeness and appreciation
I wish he was here.
Just to hear his laughter
And see the way his eyes lit up
When I baked his favorite pie

Just one last time.

I told them to go away,
them Birds,
"Whistle your music
to someone who cares",
I told them
I'm no audience for you,

But for some strange reason
They kept coming, every morning

I often think, why me?
Why did I have to feel the pain
of such love
And then have it ripped away by death,

Why, why me?
Then a thought Comes to my mind,
I think,

Well I must be the luckiest
person in the world
To have had, that special love
In the first place.

And even though it's gone,
I can give the birds
their well-earned fresh bread
they so diserve
Because,

They never gave up on me,

And I shall never give up
On myself.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I'm looking for a title, please feel free to leave me some.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

All my bread is
stale,
As stale
as my thoughts.
As stale
stale
once too often
you may consider to curtail
use words others
and slice your poem in two

Hope you shall understand me
impartially
few read epicurial poetry Snow man finally folloed me he sliced most of his

Thank you, I know it's lengthy but you can't cut grief in half. I shall of course take all ideas

Sweet lovedly

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

"Refresh Me". A poignant poem for sure, I wouldn't worry about too many stales, but if you do, I think that the only one I would change is: "As stale as the evening's dinner I still cook..." You could use [tasteless] here. I think that lovedly forgets that there is a subtle difference in the use of [stale], that would be hard to replicate as a manner of speaking. ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

That's a wonderful idea. Thank you, I did mean to use stale a lot however tasteless also brings something to the plate, if you pardon the pun! This is simple free verse I really wanted this to come across as a true moment of thinking, rather than breathtaking!

Title is good too.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment
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