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untitled

CRASH!
the thunder went, lights are out
power shut.
We feel through the dark til we find each other.
I hear you breathing,
loudly
but steady. I
put my hand on your chest to feel your
rhythmically dancing heart.
I smell your skin and I am filled with the must of your cologne.
I drink in the silence as I stare into the abyss of darkness.
The hair on your neck raises as the soft wind goes by.
Lip to Lip we meet once again as if I have found my better half.
Sparks fly through me reigniting my heart that was once cold as stone
but now is like the heart of a raging fire.
There I stand
holding you
you hold me close to your heart
while we stand underneath the now brightly shining stars.
The thoughts in my head dance to the heavenly tune of your heart and breath combined
My nightmares are drowned in your loves making me forget what pain and sorrow was.
I see the spectrum of light flash before my eyes as you caress my face between your warm hands.
"Hold me." I whisper.
"I would never let you go girl for we shine brighter the two of us than any star in the galaxy. no storm could break our bond.For I will never let you go."

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Jeez, has it been a long time! I have gotten so busy that I totally forgot about this site. Hope you people like the poem which was actually written for someone I REALLY liked but he turned out a jerk (even though we didn't date) so I decided to post it! so I hope you people who see this with your face will like the poem! BAI
Editing stage: 

Comments

it is a lessening of of self self love poem.
Find your strength.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I read this poem completely wrongly and it is strong and beautiful.

I must admit to be affected by your "Last Few Words"
that is mo excuse for ignoring the power and beauty of it.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

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