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Until then

Submitted by Rula on Mon, 2018-07-30 03:49

Against our will
spins on the mill,
with gold we fill
our times or spill.
In health, in ill
in pain, in thrill,
we cry, we trill
till fits the bill,
then comes the will
to solemnly still
to solemnly still.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

How was my language use?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Mon, 2018-07-30 05:13

Rula

as i mentioned to Greg i8t is pretty tough to maintain the aaaaaa...rhyme sequence through and through....nicely done..an epitaph is about someone dead...i couldn't understand how this poem connects to that meaning...please excuse my ignorance
..............................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Rula

Mon, 2018-07-30 05:29

Raj

Maybe I'm wrong. I thought an epitaph is something we write on the tomb that shows someone beliefs.
Let me check.

Don't know if you read the last few words
Much appreciate the visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-07-30 05:46

yes Rula that's what is said

yes Rula that's what is said about epitaphs ....writings about the dead may be even on tombs...i am trying to figure out how this poem connects to it...
..................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Rula

Mon, 2018-07-30 06:07