Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
UNREQUITED
When I woke up I smiled at you
you didn't see
when I sat up I saw you there
you didn't sense me
when I thought of you
you didn't know
when all the leaves have left the tree
and all the rivers fill
when birds awake in spring
and flowers ring
and flights of memory take off
to join the throng of joyful dance
on verge of madness
happiness is there to pluck
and yet
you perceive it not
Style / type:
Free verse
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
judyanne
Sun, 2012-04-08 15:07
rough draft annanya?
then let's not play with it anymore
for the pen has been dipped in the golden stream
and any edit would smudge it
this is beautiful
love judyanne
xxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-04-08 15:11
Thank you judyanne
It was felt and seen and written in the moment of sitting up in bed, in my iPhone notes.
Finished.
annanya smiles.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Dalton
Sun, 2012-04-08 18:20
Hi Ann
when all the leaves have left the tree
and all the rivers fill
when birds awake in spring
and flowers ring
and flights of memory take off
to join the throng of joyful dance
on verge of madness
lovely lines. Thanku
John
scribbler
Sun, 2012-04-08 21:01
Hi there
I really had to look hard to come up with even 1 alternative :maybe...happiness is here to pluck
but this depends entirely on whether the unrequited love has faded. Wonderful poem.........stan
Esker
Sun, 2012-04-08 21:46
Saturday idylic fall of midnight nearing
a day of spring renewal and thoughts
before
the old and young renew their love
amongst the growing green
and warm lit sun upon their love
and I drift in the ruin of the yards
shards of happiness gleaming
the brooding junkyard dog
Whom reads his prose when
darkness unfolds
the starry make above the grail
for the soul to drink of
this gem this song I'm reading
here fills the very nature of
this spring
reminds me of everything
broken sometimes has its
edge
the departed love
life
day
on swift wings or slow current
ghosts that wake
tales that sleep
alive in our deep
I greatly am enjoying this
work over in my head
not because of its
sorrow or unhappiness
but because its real
because sometimes
one awakes
much too often
although the sunny norm
of day sweeps me from
the ashs of those places
sometimes there is a very
real reality that survives
from the dream
sometimes mirrors do not
throw back a reflection
instead a door
thank you my Ann
so apt this work for me
right now
so personal
Candlewitch
Mon, 2012-04-09 12:41
Dear Ann,
This is lovely and plays out well...
favorite thoughts/lines:
and flights of memory take off
to join the throng of joyful dance
on verge of madness
happiness is there to pluck
and yet
you perceive it not
Don't change a word...
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.