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Unpardonablaise

Unpardonablaise
Your thoughts of unborn a spokesman /woman …on their behalf… is worthy of adoration...adulation… but imagine the explosion in population …but you are right… they ought to have used condom …ere the conception ….after having let the sperm seed and a child conceive…. to abort is short of treason …and murder we all try without any reason ….to punish the grown up…. but what about those ,who don't think like you ….and shelve the future of someone … who could have earned ,one day … someday..

revised version

Unpardonablaise (reviewd....)

Your thoughts of unborn
a spokesman /woman …
on their behalf…
is worthy of adoration...
and adulation…

but imagine the explosion
of population …

but you are right…
they ought to have used condom …
ere the conception ….

after having let the sperm seed
and
a child breed….

to abort is short of treason …
and
murder we all try without any reason …

to punish the grown up….
but what about those ,
who don't think like you …
and shelve the future of someone …
who could have earned,
one day …
someday..
a Nobel….

A Nobel....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like the content, and the voice you've used, but the format makes the cadence suffer greatly.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

thanks for your input

loved

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