Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.


I'm the best loom fixer ever
I knew them inside out
but now I'm unemployed because
they say I made too much

I have been to outer space
always on a U.S. craft
now to my shame and deep disgrace
I last hitched a ride out there

I'm a computer programmer
whose job is now gone overseas
where it's hard to understant the grammer
if you must call for help

I've built the finest houses ever
until the banks ruined my trade
they say this bust might last for ever
what do I do ? I'm 56

My saw mill was once my dad's
he passed it on to me
now I've had to lay off all the lads
how could this have come to be?

The stories all go on and on
steel workers, suppliers, working men
all their jobs for ever gone
for cheaper's a sin

Like a snake devouring its own tail
short term gains will ruin us
but let's not let the big banks fail!
It's enough to make a preacher cuss

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I started to write this as strictly rhyming and decided to break rhyme and rhythm to reflect the dislocation of the people in "the line"
Editing stage: 


And your words describe the desolation perfectly, good people cast aside for the quick buck. It has always been the case, but the unfortunate thing is we don't stick together. We could have real democracy and strength if we wanted, but they always know how to have us fight each other for jobs and a pound. Great poem Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

I believe with a level playing field we can compete with anybody. The problem is giving tax breaks to companies who relocate to fields which aren't level............stan

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.