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TWO SEAT BENCH (narrative poetry shop)

The treated wood on this deer stand
is fading grey from all the years
which matches these woods old and bland.
I check for rot as autumn nears
and last night's ground fog disappears.

Carefully I ascend the ladder
and it creaks like my brittle bones.
It holds me so it doesn't matter.
Through these deep woods the wind moans
with desultory low pitched tones.

I step from ladder onto rough cut blind;
it's almost level and nearly square
but I reckon the deer will not mind
as they pass from here to there
checking their range with intent stare.

It looks like the roof doesn't leak,
I shake the walls, the braces hold.
The openings will let me peek
come the months when cold winds blow.
My exam is not complete, all told.

I turn toward that I'd as soon not see
A bench which I once built for two
an old friend who used to hunt with me.
I knew not then his hunts were through.
Too many spots in X-ray's view,

I sit on one end of the bench,
raise my head to take on sylvan view
spotting a yellow breasted finch
while remembering this man I knew.
I wonder if he sees this too.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I enjoyed reading... you built an atmosphere which was tranquil and thoughtful, moved into a confession of loss and ended with a tender emotive reflection that moved me deeply.

Thank you
Sharonlee Imageweaver

Thank you for dropping by and your kind words

author comment

I have a question, in this line: "It look like the roof doesn't leak>" should it be (looks)?
I love how naturally your poem flows from line to line and stanza to stanza. your poems usually take me to a mellow place. this one is mellow but it lands me on a wistful note. I have learned a lot from you over the years! and it's all good! well done from start to finish.

*hugs, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

I actually Do review stuff as I post but sometimes I see what Should be there instead of what Is lol. I'm pleased you enjoyed this and am glad you have learned from me a few things (likely by negative example lol) from this chicken scratcher

author comment

It seems as though you have hit every nail on the head. You made me feel the creak and groans of my old bones climbing into that solid built deer stand, that was made to keep the weather out and hold the memories in. ~ Geez.
.

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Better to hit the nail on the head than you lol. I deer hunted with a friend for well over 20 years and all that time we dreamed about getting a piece of land we could turn into a deer hunter's paradise. While we dreamed about 100 acres it winds up my son and I got 18.......just in time for my buddy to get cancer. This is based on that and how every time I build or check a stand I think back on my friend who went to the other side last year

author comment

i never had a two seater tree blind, tho went hunting with a friend for a number of years. His sight failed him (macular degeneration) and he doesen’t hunt with me anymore, or anyone for that matter.

Like the flow of this narrative a lot. Imagery spoke to me, in my mind’s pictures easily. Took me to the place of missing my friend, and while I acclaim the going there within the piece, I do miss hunting with him.

An excellent piece befitting our esteemed workshop leader!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I took a bit of license with this. i actually have rusty chairs in my hunting blinds. But I Did build them with room for two in anticipation of him joining me at times.....sigh..... guess I'll have to wait a few more years for my grandson to join me. thanks for your visit. PS I hope you are still visiting your buddy and still talk about your times spent hunting.

author comment
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