That's a nice take on the way you have perceived Twilight...perhaps you may want to reduce repetition of you in the second verse...one suggestion could be " and you sense the beginning of an end"..just a suggestion though...

Regards,

there are two twilight's ....
one at dawn ...
the emergence
from the womb of darkness
and
the other as suggested by you
the twilight which ensues,
into the dream ahead
of a new awakened
soulless,
but darkened womb
the ultimate tomb!

watching war month on television and many wounded .critically cried for their mommas
my mom...I would not have cried for her..Medic! was lucky..my mom was wounded
herself..probably mental illness...but she stuck by us....maybe too torture Us...not sure..Love for that reason....she made me sweaters..did my laundry while dying of cancer..tried to fuck with my life.but I sent her then hubby to deal with her which she did and she respected that.....probably hard to know her son was now a man of the road...but she was okay......There was a place...a rest home..built in the twenties as a stop in Inn for road travellers it became in the sixties a place for the end of the line Old people...back in the twenties end of the line meant....If U could not get ur own firewood..afford Ur own firewood..the community let U freeze too death....since pioneer times into the modern...nature ruled....twilight Inn...it was called....I think it was okay....if U aske me...I would rather have my own unit till the day I go....personal.....But twilight as a place..not a wanted destination....not a wanted...I want too be here place...I relate......who wants too go...anywhere....hell I was happy here!!......me...I dont mind...I was a shark anger model when I took the test..I had the cop attitude...and I prepared like a defense attorney.....
and in the end when I almost got killed off....it was some nurse.....wish they had of.......I would have been dead now four years!! but here I am...