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Truths, Myths & Rumors

Is there truth in all that is said
may be, may be not, may be some
yet we fret, or even tirade
over if it's a peach or plum

when we speak of age old myth
Is there truth in all that is said
hard to believe or contend with
to deny it most are afraid

it's so funny how rumors spread
thanks to the world of inter net
Is there truth in all that is said
it's win or lose placing a bet

all said and done it's time to think
is it all worth to knock our head
or let it rest and quip a Shrink
"is there truth in all that is said"?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This poem is a mess. The subject is strong and relevant, but you have so many mixed up meters that the poem reads from one stumble to the next.
Despite the fact that the piece is verso libre (free verse) there still needs to be some order in the midst of chaos. "Free" verse does not mean free to write ugly.
Don't just attend the Meter workshop, use it to influence your poetry.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Thanks for letting me know that my poem is a mess and ugly. Everyone is entitled for an opinion.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

and there are truths. I too, liked the content, it's just the manner in which it was displayed is beneath your talent. ~ Gee

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Thanks

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I didn't mean to insult you. If I did I apologize. I meant as Geez meant... some things just don't meet a standard already set. You write must better than this and you do ask for the "raw truth". That's how I saw it, but I'll leave your poetry alone for now.
I really am sorry if I hurt your feelings.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Thanks for visiting this page again. No I am not hurt so no need for apologies. I appreciate all opinions.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Is there truth | in all | that is said  ...................trimeter anapaest iambic anapaest
may be, | may be | not, may | be some  ...........tetrameter trochee trochee spondee iambic

et we | fret, or | e -ven | tir -ade .....................trochic tetrameter
o -ver | if it's | a --peach | or plum ...................tetrameter - trochee pyrrhic iambic iambic

when we speak | of age | old myth .................trimeter anapaest iambic spondee.
hard to be | -lieve or con | -tend with ..............trochee trimeter
to de -ny | it most | are a -fraid ........................trimeter anapaest iambic anapaest

it's so funny | how rum | -ors spread ................trimeter anapaest iambic iambic
thanks to | the world | of int | -er net ...............tetrameter trochee iambic iambic iambic
it's win | or lose | plac -ing | a bet .....................tetrameter iambic iambic trochee iambic

all said | and done | it's time | to think .............tetameter spondee iambic iambic iambic

is it | all worth | to knock | our head ................. tetrameter pyrrhic iambic iambic iambic

or let | it rest | and quip | a Shrink ...................iambic tetrameter

can you see how the feet are all overmixed? that is why people are finding the rhyhm rough

as for the subject and the refrain - I love it

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thanks for the observations and detailed explanation

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

The different lengths of the verses, in no particular pattern, also affects the rhythm
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thanks once again for your observations.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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