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Triolets to Spring

in summer

I miss you dear Persephone
although you're not long gone I know
but summer's heat is killing me
I miss you dear Persephone
down here in the Antipodes
we swelter, feeling great sorrow
I miss you dear Persephone
although you're not long gone I know

in autumn

Demeter now seeks you in vain
throughout the earth she darkens growth
with potent tears of loss and pain
Demeter now seeks you in vain
she calls to winter, 'bring the rain'
we mourn for you, her and I both
Demeter now seeks you in vain
throughout the earth she darkens growth

in winter

I reminisce before the fire
its golden tones reflect your glow
awakening a new desire
I reminisce before the fire
await your breath, its warmth required
to chase off winter's bleak shadow
I reminisce before the fire
its golden tones reflect your glow

in spring

I wake to coloured garlands grand
so wonderful to have you back
and bringing life anew to land
I wake to coloured garlands grand
as magic hues flow from your hand -
from yellows through to deep lilac
I wake to coloured garlands grand
so wonderful to have you back

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
A triolet is a poem of only eight lines with a rhyme scheme ABaAabAB. It's usually written in iambic tetrameter.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Just loved this one I do hope that the Triolet's are correct I will put on a Blog as to the Greek connection it is lovely to be able to find information at the touch of a button.
I am glad that you have the patience to write in correct form, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

for the very supportive comments - and for the blog post - i'll take a look
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

how do i answer that?
thank you
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

How we dance in the flowers
as if we were fairies of old
with spells cast out
throughout the year
to catch the shadows
throw the heat away
and breathe the breath
of a new day.

Not a poem but the atmosphere you spread with this
invites a little dance. Persephone and Demeter
such legends that as a child I heard with wide open eyes,
not believing and yet wishing so much to do so.

annanya

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

thank you
xxx
love judyanne

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I am not acquainted with triolets, but I looked them up. (I like learning something new everyday) In your title, "Triolets To Spring" would it make morsense to say; "Triolets To The Seasons" as you have included all four?

I'm familiar with the story in Greek Mythology, of the abduction of Persephone, Demeter's daughter, by Hades, king of the underworld. If I recall, the ingestion of pomegranite seeds was the determination of the time period spent in each world, above and below. Demeter's sorrow at being deprived of her daughter's company was the cause of Fall and Winter. Her return to the above lands heralded Spring and Summer.

I very much like this write, as it brings to me my time reading and studying Mythology. My favorite lines are:

in winter

I reminisce before the fire
its golden tones reflect your glow
awakening a new desire
I reminisce before the fire
await your breath, its warmth required
to chase off winter's bleak shadow
I reminisce before the fire
its golden tones reflect your glow

always, Cat

p.s.
I agree with Lonnie

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

thanks for the suggestion re the title - but they are triolets to spring, as i am talking to persephone throughout - missing her in summer, autumn and winter - glad to have her back in spring :)

thank you so very much for the wonderful comments
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

it's very seductive, isn't it! I guess it's inevitable with such a strict rhyming scheme that you would end up with a few mis-stressed rhymes like

I know
sorrow

and

you back
lilac

a mere quibble.

Immensely successful poetry at every level.

 

 

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

and you missed shadow :)

it would be easier if one was allowed to use feminine lines

thanks jess
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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