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The Trial

Lawyers as fierce as tigers
locked in a battle of wits
Voices raised in anger
fists clenched, teeth grits

I object!
Overruled!
The tension filled the air
The judge warns with a glare

Accusations, condemnations,
the war of words debates
the claim of innocence.
Let the evidence be displayed!

The panel of jury listens
The judge sits in silence
The media witnesses
before drawing to conclusion

Someone's heart will bleed
for the hope of salvation

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
One of my old poems I write with the ideas taken from a tv drama series about lawyers and their trials.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Lawyers [as] fierce as tigers
locked in a battle of wits
Voices raised in anger
fists clenched, teeth grits [ keep all the verbs in past or present]

I object!
Overruled!
The tension filled the air
The judge warns with a glare

Accusations, condemnations,
the war of words debates
the claim of innocence.
Let the evidence be displayed!

The panel of jury listen[s] if you choose the present
The judge sit[s] in silence
The media witness[es]
before drawing to conclusion

In the end [i'd drop this line]
someone's heart will bleed
the hopes for salvation [for the hope of salvation].....just thoughts

A lively capture Khalid ! I really like it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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thanks for the feedback . I've done the edit.Glad you like it

author comment

I am inviting out to offer any suggestions on my poem " Face Of The Enemy."

Alid

author comment

This write tells me that you quite unnecessarily underestimate yourself about your skills. The wide range of topics you touch upon are testimony of how truly you relate to the things happening around us in our World and also demonstrate your sensitivity. I notice a definite improvement with each poem you post. We are all learning which is why we are here at Neopet which I would say is a friendly institute of continual learning....

thanks for posting this....

regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I have no problem in finding the theme or the topics, its how to put them into words and not make them into prose as well as following Mr Wesley's teachings which I have a problem.; like the meter. I've tried to use lambic pentameter. So far my attempts have yet to be successful, so i reach out with emotions instead. Still very limited in imagery and choice of words compared to the rest of you but I hope I can keep on improving...Thanks for the feedback, my friend.Hope to hear again from you soon.

God bless,
Alid

author comment

I am inviting you to offer any suggestions on my poem " Face Of The Enemy."

Alid

author comment
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