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The Tree (September Contest)

A September day
So bright yet so damp
Disturbing the rhythm
Set by summers lamp
The colors of autumn
Were spread all around
A chill in the air
And leaves on the ground

A curbside bench
Facing a garden
Looking as inviting
As a plush ottoman
Unwanted weeds
And a thicket or two
A barren tree stood
Amidst these outgrew

I sat and I wondered
What lived in a tree
When most leaves had fallen
And branches were free
No shade to provide
No fruit to be found
Just a mighty trunk
Jutting from the ground

Then chipmunks came bounding
And slid up the tree
Into a dark crevice
Disappeared all three
A slight breeze gushed by
I sipped on my drink
The remaining few leaves
Were just on the brink

I sat and I watched
As people walked by
With faces hung down
And phones held up high
But nobody noticed
The music that feet
Made as the dry leaves
Were crushed underneath

The chipmunks emerged
To forage some more
To make a deposit
Of acorns galore
This giant coat hanger
Was not really so
Lifeless as it seemed
Just moments ago

When winter will come
And nature will spite
These nimble creatures
Shall have some respite
For they strive today
Lest future dismay
Whilst we put off things
And cause disarray

No leaf would grow
For few months atleast
And branches won't yield
Sweet edible treats
But even in times
Of wintry starkness
This tree will maintain
Some life in its darkness

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

this is so beautiful. I really like it. I wonder if this is supposed to be a submission for the contest "September, the month of change"
If so please choose the name of the contest from the menu drop window at the bottom of the page.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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It was - thank you so much for making me realise my mistake :) and ofcourse - for the appreciation

author comment

This poem demonstrates how connected you are with nature and about your sensitivities which reflect in the verses, which held me captive through and through. It also conveyed your thoughts about how disconnected many are who lose out on these natural phenomenon while getting lost in material pleasures. I enjoyed it immensely.

raj (sublime_ocean)

Appreciate the kind words - thank you Raj
And I pray that more humans realise the increasing damage we are inflicting upon our planet in the name of urbanisation

author comment

Appreciate what you said about increasing damage being inflicted upon our planet. That's the reason why your poem appealed to me.

Good to know you are creating the awareness through the medium of poetry.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

To be considered for the Sept. contest you need to put (September contest) next to title. On to the poem: an enjoyable read with unobtrusive rhyme, detailed imagery and a nice theme. The line "shall have much respite" that word "much" doesn't quite ring true to me.......maybe rich respite or stored respite would work better. But it's up to you, I just fling out suggestions here and there lol..........stan

Hi Stan

Changes done - 'stored respite' makes perfect sense - I wish I would have thought of it when composing the piece.

And as always, sincerely appreciate all replies and suggestions :)

author comment
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