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Trapped in a Nightmare

For some of us, life is but a garden of thorns
The agony is the sole sweetness to savour:

If this be a nightmare by your making, dream-maker
Into which I am trapped, I pray to wake from it now
Before reality tattoos me as an outcast
I can no longer linger here on this gray field
And listen to the weeping winds sing melancholy songs
To the lonely willows wallowing upon lonely hillocks
Heartbroken underneath the dull moonbeams

Wretched place; I see no reflections in the mirrors
Nor images of reality in the water's eyes
My eardrums are filled with deafening silence
And I find myself roving upon the gloom borders
Searching for a way out
Yet only eternities of drowsy emptiness
Constantly greet my weathered feet
Worn-out from the endless fruitless walks
For a way out this foggy woodland

Shadowy place; there are cold whisperings
They crop broken dreams in my brains
And the harvests are but sad grains
That will be thrown back into the gray soil
During the next seedtime into the next
In a recurring cycle of rebirth

Gray garden; there are no reflections in the mirrors
Nor images of reality in the water's eyes
Bitterness is all the sweetness to savor
And so dream-maker, if I am mired in a nightmare
That is happening in my mind,
I cannot linger any longer;
Let my eyes wake. I need to embrace sun shine

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Comments

This is some story Wondergolly,
I love it although its a serious subject,
love is perhaps not the word I should use,
but it makes me enthusiastic to read more of your poems.
Some of the imagery is so new, unexpected and exciting.

"For some of us, life is but a garden of thorns
The agony is the sole sweetness to savor:"..........A grand beginning

Is savor an American way of spelling it? savour.

The same thing with gray as opposed to grey-
I used to use gray as painterly,
being a little more subtle than grey, but...?

I savour this:-
"If this be a nightmare by your making, dream-maker
Into which I am trapped, I pray to wake from it now
Before reality tattoos me as an outcast"

"To the lonely willows wallowing upon lonely hillocks" ......not so sure about willows wallowing!

"the waters eyes"..water's

"filled deafening silence"......filled with deafening...

"Yet only eternities of drowsy emptiness
Constantly greet my weathered feet"......super

Yes I enjoyed reading this,
Nordic cloud.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Hello Nordic Cloud, thank you for the read and I appreciate
the honesty of your comments. You pointed errors
that should be corrected. thank you. ( funny how we read
our poems over and over again and still miss out on
some petty errors. lol)

Gray / Grey ==> frankly speaking, I get confused as to which to use.

"To the lonely willows wallowing upon lonely hillocks"
I couldn't agree less with you. some of the imagery are indeed new,
I like to say "experimental". May be one day, a definitive meaning
will drown from "wallowing willows". lolz

thanks again for pointing out the spelling and punctuation errors.
would make the correction right away.

respects.

WonderGolly

What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol

author comment

Oh we all do that and even print the thing and THEN find the errors of spelling etc. so annoying, we develop a kind of blindness for our own things, perhaps the brain having written the error has already accepted it and won't do anything about changing it, as if IT had its own mind!!!!! :)

Wallowing willows I admit sounds nice, willows wallowing swallowing the swallows wing ...just musing, 'scuse I.
In USA they mostly use gray, in English otherwise in the world they use grey
"Both spellings, which have origins in the Old English grǽg, have existed hundreds of years. The American–British distinction did not develop until the 19th century."Web.
So feel free to use whichever takes your fancy, or in our case sometimes, whichever rhymes best!!
The same applies to savour, colour etc, savor color, the American's have simplified many words such as Laboratory in Eng, Am: Labratory...I think!

And so language changes as new people and nations use languages they also become changed language is living, and we, of all people, poets, even coin new words sometimes, its all interesting anyway.

Not to mention the disappearance of the swallows' as opposed to the swallow's, that subtle nuance seems to have been dropped mostly, or so it seems to me. It makes things simpler to have one version of the apostrophe, but I hear judyanne murmuring in the wings!! :)

Have a good day Wondergolly,
Nordic cloud.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

You have been most helpful, Nordic Cloud. Thank you very much for your time and attention.

respects.

WonderGolly

What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol

author comment
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