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Racing after the lights
Trying to assume a dominant position
Never achieving satisfaction
The rubber leaving the road

Scarified leather interior bleeds
Life-sign detritus thrown curbside
Blinking lights disbelieving
Horrified end of the trip

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Last few words: 
Thought I'd try and get a little better grip on what we are trying to achieve.I made some changes as I was making changes... Think it runs better now.
Editing stage: 


I love the title which ties in so well with the last line of the poem. The first two lines of verse two are intensely descriptive. Typo verse one, line two, dominant.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy

I have fixed the typo. ~ Gee

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

author comment

so I don't really know if my comments are pertinent (in my understanding of 'abstract')

But using the word 'car' to start seems to detract from the abstract....
Can I suggest you just begin
'racing after the lights'

I would also suggest you drop 'the' at the beginning of the 4th verse

'Throwing life-sign detritus curbside' might read better as 'life sign detritus thrown curbside'

Also, the ending bothered me - not sure why.... I think I would scrub that last line ... or just use the one word 'horrified'

Just me, as you know Gee
interesting write
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

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