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TRANSLUCENT EARS

I see them now:
Mother and Son:
Some distance from me,
Partly hidden by one
Of a dozen Formica
Partitions that lull
And con…

Partitions that lull
And con
Middle-class matrons
And young lovers on trains
Into a false
Sense
Of privacy…

Lulled into that,
Fair, forty and fat,
She holds her unreluctant cherub
In an embrace that
Is very,
Disturbingly
Familiar…

He sits on her lap,
Forward faced:
Her right arm fully
Encompasses his waist,
Palm pressed
At his breast,
For maximum contact…

Circles caressed
On a hairless cheek,
Petulant questions-
But she doesn’t speak,
Translucent ears
Buried under
Parental kisses…

Disturbingly familiar,
Forty and eight…
I suddenly realise
That last night,
This
Was exactly
How I held you…

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=7021220

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This one was written a good many years ago, when, as a young university student, I was travelling home for the holidays on a train. The sight of this "middle aged" (from the perspective of a twenty-something, FORTY was then DEFIITELY Middle Aged) woman with her toddler, brought a strange realisation to mind... If anyone cares to hear this as "Spoken Word" (or "sung word" in this case), they can do so at the link just under the body of the poem. (I DO miss the "Spoken Word" feature on Neopoet....)

Comments

excellent descriptive, i could see so much through your words

not sure if at the end you were referring to your child or your husband/wife/lover......
wasn't sure where you went to at the end.
then i read you note......
still not sure what the 'strange realisation' was......
...... that we can have babies for a good many years???

enjoyed just the same,
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

The "disturbingly familiar" memory in the last verse is a lover's recent embrace, remembered.

There is often a tenderness in that embrace which is not very different from the tenderness with which one might hold a child... very gently and very encompassingly.

The visual of that mother's embrace simply looked very familiar... and then I realised why...

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this one.

Psyve

author comment

An awesome poem, vivid and most evocative, and the ending, well, it made me feel uncomfortable, because of the way its sexual connotations, for me, were coupled with the mother and child, which is in itself a relationship who's underpinning are sexual anyways, but being reminded of that fact at the end in such a skillful and intense way is...voyeuristic, and quite powerful.

Very well written.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Jim,

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment.

I think you have picked up, albeit with a sense of some discomfort, on the comparison made by the protagonist between the maternal embrace he sees and his own memory of another recent embrace.

Glad you liked this one.

Psyve

author comment

Love = tenderness what ever the age. A sweet write.......scribbler

I agree: love = tenderness. Am pleased you seem to have enjoyed this read.
Thank you for taking the time.
Psyve

author comment

Psyve,

I have read the poem/lyrics and listened to the song as well. I actually prefer this one as a written poem rather than a song and lyrics. I think it works better as a poem, probably as it lacks a song structure as it lacks a chorus, so it almost becomes a sung poem rather than an actual song. That said, I do like your voice, it has a vulnerability to it which does add an extra element that works in many of the others you have recorded.

I think I have listened to about 20 songs now...I am fast becoming a groupie!! Lol!

Back to the poem - does it feel odd to you now, that you are no longer that twenty something and are probably a thirty something!! now? I liked it very much and it would be good to see how you would write the same piece as a forty something whilst watching a twenty something as a couple or with a child.

Great observation skills you had then and clearly you have kept that skill if the songs I have listened to are anything to go by.

I will get back to you regarding the PM shortly,

kindest regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Thank you for your very kind remarks, on both this poem / song as well as some others that you have listened to on my Soundclick page.

Since you ask, I am already "fifty-something" :-) so my perspective is already from the "other side" of that great "forty-something" divide!

Does my song feel odd to me because of that?

Not at all.

My songs have always been like a journal to me... recording a particular point of time/ or a phase in my life, and I listen to (and sing) most of them quite regularly, and find myself connecting with a younger me at different ages...

Thank you once again... for your patience and kindness.

Psyve

author comment

Fully agree: as you know, I wasnt comparing the two kinds of love: it was only the outward manifestation of the mother's love, that absentminded embrace, the circles carressed on a hairless cheek, that reminded me of another embrace.

Glad you liked this one...

author comment

Hmmm. Long ago, I quite noticed how *translucent* ears really are. You are the first one I have have heard/read that referenced it. I also had an uneasy feeling with where my mind took me.

So, for me, your poem/song evokes uneasiness, transparency, and sensuality. The ending almost took my breath away in a burst of recognition.

Obviously, you have a fan.

~A

Am pleased this one evoked several reactions in you.
The realisation at the end comes as a sort of surprise to the protagonist too, as you can see...
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Psyve

author comment
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