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What little hair I have is white
which peeks from under my hat's brim
as I head home to beat the night.
I pause a moment on a whim
just to look at all I see.

I've stopped between the town and home,
not really country but hardly town,
where both house cats and white tails roam
and not all trees have been cut down.
I shift my weight off old sore knee.

The sun winks off behind the trees
as wood ducks whistle toward the marsh
and whippoorwill begins his tease.
A lone hawk screams out loud and harsh
while a squirrel sprints up his den tree.

One by one the stars ignite,
the harvest moon begins to rise
as day time slowly turns to night.
Far away a mournful coyote cries
as a nearby pet dog barks at me.

Lights and their windows now switch on
announcing the final end of day,
reminding me it's time I'm gone.
From home I've been too long away;
toward hearth and love my feet now hurry.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


As far as direction goes this is perfect in my eyes, i have paused with that very sore knee. But you have given it life in words. Great poem. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thank you for such kind comment but even I know it's not perfect lol. Appreciate your time to drop by........stan

author comment

I greatly admire your ability to find rhymes without bending meaning or altering a normal word-order. I also like you evident sensibility towards birds and animals, and other evocative details in this poem.
Best wishes,

Thank you for such a supportive remark. I usually use pastoral based themes because most of my scribbling is fairly peaceful in nature. I figure there are plenty of poets covering the ugly side of the world so I try to give people a place to retreat to..............stan

author comment

your path is gradually rounding
as for hair you say
you can boast of some
I have none........

so to conceal my headlly kingdom
a hat i do wear
but seldom

long live my head without a hat
some day I shall too pass away
without a hat
maybe like a rat

no soul shall leave my frail body
what's it a heavenly one
well still a soul LOVEDLY
has none!

The hats I wear
cut down on the glare
which comes from a head
with hair mostly
Appreciate your dropping by..........stan

author comment

Appreciate your dropping by..

another guy had the cheeks to say

appreciate your droppings!!!!!.....
lol what!

I'm not That desperate ...yet lol....stan

author comment
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