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Tough Love
Tough Love
Slithering on shards of bone, I bleed profusely now
rapture streaming from a fractured face
nothing to impede my passage as I seek the love
of she who sits upon the throne of grace
ebon hair cascading down on breasts of sculptured pearl
eyes that glow a luscious evil green
a goddess from the nether realms intent and hungry now
waiting for my lust to drain me clean
sacrifice is nothing to eternal forms of life
compassion for the prey a thing absurd
and so I crawl more quickly now as she beckons me
with a regal gesture and a word
this body must be deathly pale and pure to suit her taste
ravaged by the pain of wounds untold
purged of all the scarlet fluid pumped from mortal heart
only then will I be safe to hold
and as my vision fades with death I force a feeble howl
for my love-crazed eyes can finally see
this deity that craves my soul is she I’ve always known
the un-dead queen of classic poetry
C. Lon R. Bruso
Comments
Roscoe Lane
Fri, 2013-11-22 01:08
A tremendous,
A tremendous piece of poetry and i understand where this comes from. Regards Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
Lonnie
Fri, 2013-11-22 07:57
Thanks, Roscoe!
I'm happy you approved of this effort of mine to show how some of us relate to our poetic experience! Thanks so much for reading and leaving me feedback, it is deeply appreciated!
Seren
Fri, 2013-11-22 07:00
Dear Lonnie
I admire your dark love in poetry, there where a couple of (and's) that I think could be pruned to improve the flow but other than that I have nothing else critical to add, there are some really good lines in this I thoroughly enjoyed the read thanks for sharing your gift with us again
ebon hair cascading down on breasts of sculptured pearl
eyes that glow a luscious evil green
a goddess from the nether realms intent and hungry now
waiting for my lust to drain me clean
my favourite stanza
love to you both JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lonnie
Fri, 2013-11-22 08:01
Thank you, Jayne!
Your suggestions are well noted and I am happy that you thought this piece enjoyable! What with your knowledge of the poetic process, I am honored to have you as a friend!
Seren
Fri, 2013-11-22 08:07
Dear Lonnie
In many ways I am still a novice, I sometimes wonder what I will write when a complete understanding of my words comes to me, its all a learning process isn't it ? I am very proud to have you as a friend :)
hugs
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
weirdelf
Tue, 2013-11-26 09:25
oh yes,it devours
When I read in a book or hear a line in a TV show or movie "I had no choice", it is always a lie, and bad writing. However in poetry it is true. Why else subject ourselves to these agonies?
On the other hand, when the words just flow and we create a thing of beauty, all is forgiven of the cruel muse. A fine poem Lonnie. My only hesitation , and this may be just my perversity, it that it seems to have undertones of sexual shame.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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Lonnie
Tue, 2013-11-26 14:03
Thank you
I'm sure if anyone looks closely enough they may also find undertones of social animosity, political revolution, antisemitism, and psychological trauma! In other words, you'll find anything your mind tells you is in there, whether it actually is or not! But, be that as it may, I appreciate your response!