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Tough Love

Tough Love

Slithering on shards of bone, I bleed profusely now
rapture streaming from a fractured face
nothing to impede my passage as I seek the love
of she who sits upon the throne of grace

ebon hair cascading down on breasts of sculptured pearl
eyes that glow a luscious evil green
a goddess from the nether realms intent and hungry now
waiting for my lust to drain me clean

sacrifice is nothing to eternal forms of life
compassion for the prey a thing absurd
and so I crawl more quickly now as she beckons me
with a regal gesture and a word

this body must be deathly pale and pure to suit her taste
ravaged by the pain of wounds untold
purged of all the scarlet fluid pumped from mortal heart
only then will I be safe to hold

and as my vision fades with death I force a feeble howl
for my love-crazed eyes can finally see
this deity that craves my soul is she I’ve always known
the un-dead queen of classic poetry

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I've often thought of poetry as a devourer that insists you devote the entire fiber of your being to its purpose, and I guess this poem is the end result of those imaginings!
Editing stage: 

Comments

A tremendous piece of poetry and i understand where this comes from. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

I'm happy you approved of this effort of mine to show how some of us relate to our poetic experience! Thanks so much for reading and leaving me feedback, it is deeply appreciated!

author comment

I admire your dark love in poetry, there where a couple of (and's) that I think could be pruned to improve the flow but other than that I have nothing else critical to add, there are some really good lines in this I thoroughly enjoyed the read thanks for sharing your gift with us again

ebon hair cascading down on breasts of sculptured pearl
eyes that glow a luscious evil green
a goddess from the nether realms intent and hungry now
waiting for my lust to drain me clean

my favourite stanza

love to you both JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Your suggestions are well noted and I am happy that you thought this piece enjoyable! What with your knowledge of the poetic process, I am honored to have you as a friend!

author comment

In many ways I am still a novice, I sometimes wonder what I will write when a complete understanding of my words comes to me, its all a learning process isn't it ? I am very proud to have you as a friend :)

hugs

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

When I read in a book or hear a line in a TV show or movie "I had no choice", it is always a lie, and bad writing. However in poetry it is true. Why else subject ourselves to these agonies?

On the other hand, when the words just flow and we create a thing of beauty, all is forgiven of the cruel muse. A fine poem Lonnie. My only hesitation , and this may be just my perversity, it that it seems to have undertones of sexual shame.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I'm sure if anyone looks closely enough they may also find undertones of social animosity, political revolution, antisemitism, and psychological trauma! In other words, you'll find anything your mind tells you is in there, whether it actually is or not! But, be that as it may, I appreciate your response!

author comment
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