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Touch

touch like stars caressing water, brimming eyes, whelming the heart

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

overwhelmed with the single line poem

there is a wonderful picture you're trying to paint in the first two lines.I think the poem might benefit from extending it a bit more to clear the whole image. Just my opinion. You know better what you want to say.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

for reading and commenting. Actually I am trying to write a poem in one or two lines which is my next challenge...it may take a while to reach that goal...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

do you think adding 'a' before 'touch' making it clearer or maybe I'm just missing sth there.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

i think i will leave it as is...the message i am trying to bring in is that ...the feeling of touch need not be physical ...even without it one can be touched...reflecting in the eyes and the heart....even tears of joy or sadness touch the one who causes them...hope it holds this in the one liner...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

(''A touch on the shoulders speaks volumes till eternity, he/she touched me..."")

just one line

I avoid using "guy" in a poem as far as possible...thanks for the read Lovedly..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

for any sex
yes but I did not use t in the one line poem
Thanks for your reading and reply with kindness
need not say
tolerance
thanks raj

one power packed line; this is far stronger than the original.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

your words are inspirational and will encourage me to come up with more...thanks a lot...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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