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Total Aquareness
Leathered terrace that I cling to
enlists the true, eclectic me
sometimes shavin'
always cravin'
to see the forest through the tree;
I've seen rainbows and spied sunsets
that would make an angel cry
and I notice in the distance
I'll see that same light when I die;
for instance my own Mother
knows how short that I had fell,
sometimes we may see a heaven
from a view that includes hell;
tattered terrace that I long for
with a time that includes you,
so soft your touch
I miss so much
you are my favorite color, blue.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Almost time.......happy v. d.!
Editing stage:
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Comments
Starlight
Sun, 2012-02-19 17:52
hello♥
I really liked this very much. it was very aesthetic and emotional. and the title drew me in.
-Starlight
docmaverick
Mon, 2012-02-20 17:22
What a wonderful....
...way, that you shined "starlight" on my effort. Without your illumination, I'd have gone on believing for EVER....that, no-one had bothered to read it!
Sincerely, thanx;
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
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