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A TIME TO WRITE
While wrestling with a wriggling muse
I sit and look out rear glass door
and try to write of sylvan views
which have washed up on creative shore
Pen in hand and butt in chair
spiral notebook in my lap
snatching rhymes from the thin air
ink flows slowly as spring sap
Reckon I'm so deep in thought
that at first I do not realize
that my attention's being sought
by someone with emerald eyes
"Excuse me, what did you say?"
I ask of her with a baffled frown
then I put my pen away
and lay that half done poem down
For there is a time to write
but even an old fool like me
knows that often comes the night
when love trumps any poetry
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Sat, 2012-03-10 12:21
"Reckon I'm so deep in
"Reckon I'm so deep in thought
that at first I do not realize"...this line trips me rhythm-wise.
Maybe the first verse too, I had better re read it later and see.
Sylvan I have avoided as its so connected with the romantic in my mind,
and yet why not, we cannot avoid the words that fit and it is a good word;
even though it feels a bit...well overdone.
Perhaps also because my mother used it so often in her poetry!!!
"Pen in hand and butt in chair
spiral notebook in my lap
snatching rhymes from the thin air
ink flows slowly as spring sap"
Slapping the images on here what?
Nordic cloud.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Sat, 2012-03-10 19:25
Hmm...
realize-----eyes, muse---views. I honestly don't see the problem but it might be a difference in accent. And i HAVE been accused of using a bit of imagery before lol..........stan
author commentscribbler
Sat, 2012-03-10 23:19
LOL
You're not That old yet. Even I venture away from the woods at times . Thanks for the visit and time to comment.........stan
author commentloved
Mon, 2012-03-12 02:17
I shiver in my jeans
less I reveal my genes,
to comment on a wonder poet
Stan
let me continue
Shakespearean style
and say ,
thee...
loved
scribbler
Mon, 2012-03-12 08:10
hi loved
thanks for coming by..........stan
author commentIan.T
Mon, 2012-03-12 03:35
Stan
Even us old un's can be good at many things,
Until that light fades from our old eyes and that last tear descends for everyone that cares to see, we are still alive.
With dimming eyes we can see further, with lacking touch in our hands we can feel more.
Our minds may dull where times tables and working things out may take time but our love and knowledge is beyond the bounds that the younger's think..
Great write as usual, Yours Ian.T
PS:- there is another poem in the above words lol
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Mon, 2012-03-12 08:12
hi Ian
Yep, youth is wasted on the young lol.............stan
author comment