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In A Time
In a time where there's day and night.
A time with there may seem to be little light.
A mind may whirl with millions of thoughts...
Lessons to learn and things to be taught.
I'm unsure of where this path may lead.
Warning signs I feel that others dont understand I head.
Not all see the way things go.
But those that understand, they know.
Lifes so confusing, and thats just a fact
My thoughts want to do things, but my brain says hell no.
My body paralizes in the abyss of chaos, whether its calm or wild.
So many things to do, be, see, and show.
This feeling though, I cant explain easily, its not mild.
One day Ill get there,
I'm determined as I must.
Nothing here I wanted to share...
Inside though my heart wants to bust.
Few understand the illness in my mind.
You're crazy they said...
They don't understand there's a better way to approach this in kind.
In time I'll learn more.
A forever battle it will be.
So if you see me staring off...
Just know I'm just trying to battle a non functioning me.
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This poem is in point of view to outsiders that don't understand the struggles of mental illness. And to those that struggle with it, that they are not alone.
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-01-11 07:19
hello Jyssica, (I hope I spelled your name correctly)
welcome to Neopoet! may your poetry find a home here. I love your poem as it reflects some of my views. in this line:
Warning signs I feel that others dont understand I head. (don't and head should be heed.) I like your title, it is sort of "off beat" a little bit vague and makes one work for the meaning. your language usage is good. the theme appeals to me.
I too, am afflicted with mental illness, OCD,clinical depression and dissociative identity disorder and PTSD. I'm a handful but my husband understands me. I have come to live with my illnesses. do you mind me asking about your afflictions? I find it interesting and insightful to meet a fellow traveler on the bumpy road of mental illness.
*well met! hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2023-01-11 07:23
Welcome
I’m glad you found us. I’m glad you shared. I share a lot of these feelings and I find that writing helps me process my feelings and occasionally leads me to discover feelings or thoughts I didn’t know I was having. Struggling with mental health issues is difficult at best and it’s quite often dismissed by both the sufferers and their loved ones. I read your profile. I’m glad you’ve got a person there with you. I know what it is to have someone to anchor you when you’re spiraling off.
I think you are deeply in touch with your feelings, at least these the particular ones you’re stating above. I can say from my experience that has been good for my mental health. By searching ourselves we may find hidden treasures in the darkness.
I loved your poem and I look forward to reading more,
Tim
Geezer
Wed, 2023-01-11 10:42
I am glad...
that you have found your voice here. We have many people from all walks of life and backgrounds that will be here for you.
Already you have met Cat [Candlewitch] and Tim [Rosewood Apothecary], two very good poets whom I regard as some of the best here. I hope that you will continue to post and grow with us. ~Geezer.
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