Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Thursday’s Song

The stolen rivers of desire,
where have they run to?
To the valleys where shy birds sing?
Branches quiver with their hopping.
Leaves give shadowed cover there.

And I will always, always love you
now and when I die.

The rivers run to pools of light,
reflecting stillness in the morning
when all expects
the day to bring on fire.

And I will always, always love you
now and when I die.

In the distance, clouds are altered
by the coming of the storm.
Ah, what warnings in the thunder,
kindness in their grumbles..
Sideways rain, it beats me down.

And I will always, always love you,
now and when I die.

Thursday's Song (2nd version)

Stolen rivers run so quickly
to where the valleys' shy birds sing.
Leaves are shadows, trees do quiver,
as they hop from limb to limb.

And I will always, always love you
now and when I die.
I will always, always, always,
in the by and by.

In the forest pools are mirrors,
reflect the stillness of the sky.
Waiting on the day’s delivery,
to bring on heat, to bring on fire.

In the distance, clouds are altered
by the coming of the storm.
Thunder grumbles out a warning.
Prelude rain is almost warm.


Last few words: 
Stan suggested I post both versions of this. Do you have an aversion to the the verse version. ha ha
Editing stage: 


hi lovely poem love the mixing of nature and romance and the repeated lines much enjoyed cheers x

its a bit rough and ready, I did a polished rhymed version but this seemed better.

author comment

Post both versions and let readers decide lol. I enjoyed this poem but have a few alternative you could consider :
line 3 try to valleys where the shy birds sing
line 5 try leaves lend shadowed cover there
line 10 do you mean expect or aspects?
line 17 maybe along with kindly grumbles?
but an enjoyable write as is.....................stan

I looked but I must have accidently deleted the other version.
the clunky rhythm of this came from listening to a rock and roll hymn on Y'tube, 'I will exalt" by steffany Frizzell. I tried changing it but somehow lost the tone which is old fashioned so stuck with the origininal.
in the hand written version i wrote 'when all expects the day...' all being a collective abstract, the all, everything. and I'll edit it back to that.
thanks for your comments.

author comment

below the first one posted.

author comment

thanks for your comment

author comment

I really enjoyed the first version I like the second but I love the repeating of the I will always always love you lines ... I could hear a song in the background that first version would make great lyrics for a song

as always a pleasure

love JC x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.